


Poison & Wine

by olicitycaskett



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Post Episode: s03e09 The Climb
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-14 00:59:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3402593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olicitycaskett/pseuds/olicitycaskett
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity mourned Oliver's death and was ready to move on when Oliver shows up at her door. How will it change their relationship?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sleepless Nights

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on fanficiton.net
> 
> First time posting on here, and my first Arrow fanfic. How I imagined Oliver returning after The Climb. I'll use some things from the current storyline, but since I started this before the hiatus ended it will be slight AU to continue what I've been writing :P
> 
> Be kind :)

She woke before the alarm went off. Some days she wondered why she even bothered setting it anymore; a wake up call was only needed when a person actually slept, and Felicity Smoak didn't sleep. Not well anyway.

She pushed aside the arm that was splayed across her stomach and looked over at the man that it belonged to. Ray Palmer was sleeping, fully clothed ( _thank God_ ), in her bed. She remembered asking him to stay, not wanting to face another night alone, after he dropped her off. They had had a late night in the office and with all the chaos in the city with Brick's men running loose, he had insisted on seeing her home.

She pushed aside the shame in the pit of her stomach, after all nothing had happened. Beside, even if it did, she didn't belong to anybody. Maybe she might have, but she…

Well she had lost _everything_.

Ray understood her, kept her company. He made the long night more bearable. She sighed and sat up. She dreamt every night lately, vivid dreams that felt so real it always took her a minute to gather herself in the mornings. She looked sadly at the man next to her and stretched before working her way to her shower.

As the hot water pounded down on her back, she sunk to the bottom of the tub. The nightmare hadn't come that night, but sometimes she thought that was worse. In her nightmares he was dying. But in her dreams…in her dreams he was holding her, and kissing her. And it was never his arms she woke up in, and it was those mornings that were hardest to pull herself together. She didn't allow herself to break often anymore. But this morning was different.

She sobbed silently to herself, hiding her face in the crook of her elbow.

"Felicity?" Ray rapped his knuckles lightly on the door."Are you okay?"

She choked back her tears and cleared her throat. "Yea," she replied, hating how weak she sounded. "I'll meet you out in the kitchen." The last thing she needed was Ray to see her in a towel, or worse, naked.

Silence.

She gathered herself and took a deep breath before standing and finishing her shower. When she got out she towel dried her hair and combed it, leaving it hang on her shoulder. She wiped the fog off the mirror with her hand and took a long look at herself. She rubbed at the bags under her eyes. Her new sleeping patterns (or lack thereof) were wearing on her face. She dressed quickly after, and pulled her hair up into its usual ponytail. She made her way into her kitchen, heels in hand.

"I made breakfast," Ray stood, two bowls in his hand.

She smiled. "Instant oatmeal does not constitute making breakfast."

He shrugged and walked over to the table, placing the bowls down as an invitation. "Okay, well I made coffee. Does that count?"

She picked the mug up from her place setting taking a large gulp. "Coffee always counts! Listen, I actually have to run. I have a few errands to run before work…"

"You don't sleep."

"What?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to be a…" He motioned his hands between them "thing. Whatever this is, we should probably talk about it. You asked me to stay last night. You know, until you fell asleep, and you don't. You don't sleep."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Just stressed…you know how it is. Work…"

He sighed. "Felicity, I'm your boss. I'm well aware of your stress level at work."

Felicity gathered her things quickly and slid her heels on, refusing to meet his gaze. "We'll talk later, okay?"

And just like that she was gone.

* * *

 

A week had passed and they still hadn't talked, at least not about sharing the same bed. She sought him out for comfort, and he never argued it. He knew she was broken, though she never talked about it. He didn't know exactly what happened, but whatever it was had changed her. Ray Palmer had been broken once, so for weeks he had patiently waited for his brilliant business partner, never pushing.

They sat on the couch, Chinese takeout on the coffee table in front of them. It had become a familiar scene on the rare nights she hadn't gone to the Foundry (when Diggle had forced her to go home and rest). They'd watch TV, and order food. They'd talk, but always on the surface. They discussed Palmer Technologies, the latest gadgets, traded hacker stories from high school. They talked about music and movies and shared funny anecdotes. Then she would start dozing off and he'd carry her to her bed. She'd ask him to stay and he'd oblige. He'd watch her in her sleep, listen to her cry out during her nightmares, and comfort her. She'd wake up; sometimes she'd just lie there, staring out her bedroom window as if she were looking for something. Sometimes she'd boot up her computer and be gone for hours at a time.

Then there were the nights he would wake and hear her crying softly in the bathroom. In the morning she'd leave quickly, or they'd eat breakfast in silence. He knew she had lost someone, and from what he gathered it was someone more than a friend. He had asked her before. He wanted to know about her nightmares, and what made her cry. She always denied the nightmares, and on those days, she hadn't called him back to her. So finally he had stopped asking, figuring when she was ready, she'd open up to him. Tonight he was determined.

As she scrolled through her Netflix queue he watched her face, building up his courage. He cleared his throat.

Nothing.

"Felicity."

"Hmm?" She responded, her eyes never leaving the television.

"I was thinking…"

"Uh oh," she teased lightly.

He pulled on her knee so she'd turn and face him. "I like you."

She swallowed. She knew what was coming. "Ray," she started.

He put his hand up. "No, hear me out. I like you. I like you a lot. I want to take you out on a proper date."

She sighed and ran a hand to smooth out her hair. "I don-."

He took both of her hands into his, cutting her off, before replying. "You are letting life pass you by, right here on your couch. And while there's no one else I'd rather marathon 'How I Met Your Mother' with, you have to live. You _deserve_ to live. I don't know what happened to you, if this is still about the friends you lost or something more, and if you're still not ready to talk about it, fine. But you're hurting. I am so incredibly sorry that you're hurting, because I've been there. But you need to let me in if we are going to make this work."

"Ray, I'm tired." She stood and stalked to her bedroom.

He got up, following her and pulled her toward him. "Talk to me," he begged.

Tears stung her eyes and she opened her mouth several times, but nothing came out. He waited her out, the silence filling the room. "I can't." She breathed.

Ray wiped a tear from her cheek and leaned in slowly. "Felicity, I'm going to kiss you now." He whispered softly.

She froze, and then, for the second time in their relationship, his lips were on hers.

The kiss was soft and sweet. He pulled away and looked at her. He looked at her and for a split second she saw a future in the reflection of his eyes.

Suddenly she was kissing him back and her hands were in his hair. It was when Ray put his hands on her face and deepened the kiss, turning her towards the wall that she got a flash. Suddenly it wasn't Ray's hands she felt on her face. She imagined the familiar feel of warm, big hands with calloused fingers that held her face in a hospital hallway.

And then Ray's lips became something else. She had imagined another set of lips that had kissed her long ago, rough stubble around the edges. Everything was wrong. She broke away, guilt knotting in her stomach.

"Felicity," he whispered.

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

She shook her head. She didn't know what she wanted, what she didn't want. It was as if moving forward with Ray wasn't just starting a future, it was closing the door on the past.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow night at seven, if you'll have me. Sleep on it." He kissed her on the cheek, and made his way out of her bedroom. It was just like Ray Palmer to go for what he wanted, even when it seemed out of his reach.

She waited for the apartment door to shut before breaking down.

She dialed Oliver Queen's number, listening to the familiar voicemail. She shut her eyes tight, memorizing his voice. She had spent many nights playing the outgoing message over and over. She had left enough messages over the last few weeks to fill the mailbox, but she simply hacked into it to delete them so she could leave more. She took a deep breath, erasing all the messages she had left before.

She dialed again, leaving one final message. "Hi, it's me. Ray Palmer is taking me on a date…tomorrow night. So I'm calling to say goodbye. Which is stupid, because you'll never hear this. But I need to move on. I can't keep doing this, waiting on a ghost. And that's exactly what you are, a ghost. A ghost that was never mine to begin with, and never will be mine because…" she paused, choking on her words. "You're dead." She sobbed silently for a moment, letting the reality that she had refused to speak out loud until this moment sink in. "There, I said it. You're dead, and I'm…I'm not. I'm still here, and I have to move on from whatever we had…or didn't have I guess. Goodbye, Oliver."

She hung up the phone and cried herself to sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

The nightmares always started differently, but that was only a means to an end.

She always stood paralyzed; as she watched a figure, whose face she never saw, take Oliver's life away right in front of her. She could never move, and though she screamed as loud as she could, nothing ever came out. There was only silence.

Tonight was no different. When his lifeless body hit the ground she could finally move. She ran toward him and dropped to her knees, trying to stop the bleeding, fix the wound, scream for help. It didn't matter. He was always gone before she reached him. She raised her hands up in front of her and saw his blood dripping from her fingertips.

That's when she woke screaming. She clutched her chest, and tried to calm down her breathing. When she calmed down enough to move, she decided to get a shower hoping the hot water would calm her down. It helped, and when she looked at the clock it was only 2am.

_Nothing good happens after 2am_ , she thought to herself. She lay in bed for a while, staring at the ceiling, afraid to fall back to sleep. By the time 3am rolled around, she couldn't take it anymore and went into the kitchen, pulling out a bottle of wine. She contemplated the wine glasses, but decided against it and pulled the cork out. She took the bottle to the couch, stopping by her bookshelf along the way. She opened her copy of 'Great Expectations' where she had last left off, the pages dog-eared. The book was a favorite of hers, and much like an old friend she could always pick up where they had left off without faltering.

She took a sip of wine, and when she turned the page a photo dropped out. She had forgotten that she put it there to hastily mark her page once, and picked it up carefully, afraid that her touch would somehow make it fade faster.

She smiled at the photo; John had taken it a few weeks after they had defeated Slade. Things had been good then. In the photo, a very pregnant Lyla was giving one heck of a glare to Roy, while she was laughing off to the side, watching the interaction. Oliver was next to her, his arms crossed over his chest and he was grinning ear to ear, looking at her laughing.

She gently touched the image of his face with her thumb, wishing she could see him smile again. She felt the familiar sting in her eyes, and took another gulp of wine before placing the bottle on the coffee table in front of her, along with the photo.

Just then she stopped. Her ears perked up slightly, swearing she heard a soft knock.

She glanced at the clock on the wall; it was past 3:30 in the morning.

_Great_ , she thought. _Now I'm hearing things_.

She turned her attention back to the book, trying to focus.

_Knock, knock, knock!_ The knocks were loud and urgent this time.

"Okay, definitely heard that," she said standing up.

She wondered who on earth could possibly be pounding on her door at almost four o'clock in the morning. The lack of a decent night's sleep coupled with the wine had her ignoring the peephole in her door, swinging it open without question.

And just like that her whole world came to a stop.

He stood tall in her doorway, and though he was a little worse for the wear, it was in fact the same man who had left all those months ago.

"Hi," his voice was hoarse.

She stood in the doorway, stunned. "I haven't had this dream yet," her voice came out weak, barely above a whisper.

"God, I missed you," his voice faltered. "I missed you so much, Felicity."

She felt a tear roll down her cheek. "Oliver?" She questioned, not believing he was really in front of her.

He put his hands up, as if he was reaching out for her, but stopped, unsure of whether or not he should touch her.

"I'm here. It's not a dream." He closed the distance between them then, unable to keep from touching her anymore. He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly. "It's okay," he whispered. " _I'm okay_."

When her body finally responded, her hands couldn't stop roaming, needing to feel he was physically there. She wrapped her arms around him, tracing her hands over his shoulders, down his arms, over his chest. "It's you," she cried, touching his face.

He held the back of her neck, ghosting soft reassurances over her ear. "Shh, I'm here. I came back."

She pulled her face back to look at him, take him in and before she could process what was happening his lips were on hers, his hands cupping her face. She didn't think. She simply surrendered to him.

It had been nine weeks of excruciating pain, nine weeks of heartbreak, nine weeks of drowning and for the first time she could breathe again.

Oliver pushed into her, unable to get close enough. She backed up into the wall and grasped at his jacket, trying to pull him closer still.

"I love you," he gasped between kisses. "I love you so much, Felicity."

She answered by deepening the kiss and raking her fingers through the stubble on his face. He groaned, and she pushed her hips forward at the sound. He kissed down her neck, sliding his hands down her sides to her hips. She moaned softly. "You came back."

He moved his mouth back to hers again. "I'll always come back for you," he whispered on her lips.

She deepened the kiss again, taking in everything she could. The feel of his heartbeat under her hand, the taste of him on her mouth, his fingers gliding up and down her sides.

He slid his hands down under her backside, lifting her up into his arms, never breaking away from her lips. One hand came up to get lost in the waves of her hair, holding her head in place as he continued to work his lips over her mouth. She held on tightly, working her fingers into his short hair and down the back of his neck, fearing that if she let go she'd wake up and this would all be a dream.

He made his way to her bedroom and for a split second it occurred to her to ask how he knew which door it was, but she brushed it aside. She didn't care to find out just then.

When he laid her down on the bed he stopped for just a moment, taking her in and memorizing her face. A tear rolled down her cheek and he kissed it away. The ache in his chest grew, wondering how many tears she had shed these past weeks. His eyes burned at the thought of him causing her pain, and the thought of being away from her.

She leaned up and pressed a soft kiss on the side of his mouth, rubbing her thumb sweetly over the spot afterwards. "I need you," she breathed.

"Felicity…" His mind was combing through all the reasons why he shouldn't be there. All the reasons they should stop, knowing he'd only cause her pain.

She heard it in his voice and before he could continue she cut him off. "Please," she begged. She didn't care that they still had so much to work through, and that the idea of them was impossible. All she cared about was the two of them in this moment.

He could never deny her anything, so he kissed her on the forehead before pulling away from her and taking off his jacket. He leaned down and slid his hands slowly under her shirt along her sides, lifting the fabric with him. She leaned up so he could pull it over her head before he guided her back down, his hand behind her head, gently resting it on the pillow.

She tugged on the bottom of his shirt, so he pulled it over his head, throwing it onto the ever-growing pile of clothes on her floor. He kissed his way down her breasts, then her stomach and removed her sleeping pants, caressing her legs on his way. He then slid her lace panties off, never breaking eye contact with her.

He mapped her body as he went, filing away the spots that made her breath falter. He stood, removing the rest of his clothing and staring down at her. "You're beautiful," he said before leaning back down and meeting her mouth once more.

They took their time, feeling and kissing every inch of each other they could. When he finally pushed into her, it was as if nothing else existed but the two of them in that moment. Their gazes never faltered, blue met blue as their bodies blended together. He pushed into her again and again, intertwining their fingers as he held her hands over her head.

His lips ghosted over hers, sharing the same breath. "Come for me," he said, his voice low.

She smiled softly. "Come with me," she replied softly.

"Always," he whispered into her ear.


	2. Awkward Mornings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity and Oliver wake up after their night together. Oliver has returned from the dead, but has anything really changed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Thanks for the kudos and comments, I'd love to hear your feedback, so keep it coming! Next chapter will be up soon since this is a shorter one :)

Felicity woke and for the first time in weeks she felt refreshed. She stretched out, smiling at the arm underneath her and taking advantage of Oliver's sleeping state to really take him in.

There he lay in all his naked glory, sprawled out on her bed. She let her eyes sweep over his sleeping face – he looked so peaceful, a word she would definitely not use to describe Oliver Queen on any other day. She continued down to his jaw, his chest. She ran her fingers over his tattoo, across his scars that she had memorized long ago down in the foundry. Her fingers trailed over one that she hadn't recognized before, a brand new scar that was still raw, and her chest ached for him.

This man had been through so much. Things that would destroy most people, and somehow he had not only survived, but he was better for it. She wondered how many times he had seen his life pass before his eyes, how many times he had wanted it to just end. The thought made her sad.

She took a deep breath and let her hand travel down further, down to the sheet that rested low on his hips and she hesitated. She bit her lip and wondered if it was possible for her face to get any redder. Felicity brushed her hand back and forth, teasing the line between the sheet and his warm skin.

Oliver's hand clamped down on her wrist, catching her off guard. She startled and pulled her hand back with a surprised squeak.

Oliver flipped over so he was above her, and he smiled at the blonde as she retreated further into her pillow, embarrassed at being caught.

"Good morning," his voice was rough, laced with sleep. He leaned in, but the sheet that Felicity hastily pulled up in between them blocked his lips from hers.

"Hi," she mumbled through the fabric.

His brows furrowed in amusement. "Hi," he chuckled. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but there was kissing last night."

She nodded quickly.

"A lot of kissing."

She nodded again.

A lot of kissing that doesn't seem to be happening now…"

She wormed her way out from under him, taking the sheet with her and awkwardly trying to cover her naked body. "There was. But you know, morning breath," she turned with the sheet several times, wrapping it around her and pulling it from under her feet. "Not you. Me. I mean, you probably have it too. Everyone gets it. But I enjoyed it…" She shut her eyes. "The kissing. Not the morning breath."

Oliver rolled onto his back and leaned up on his elbows, letting his IT girl babble. He found it particularly endearing to wake up to.

Felicity clutched the sheet at her chest with one hand and pulled it above her feet, careful to not trip (that was the last thing she needed). She finally opened her eyes again. "I wish I would just…stop…." She trailed off as she took in Oliver in all his glory. He had no shame. And why should he? The man is a God, she thought. "You're naked."

He grinned, the smile reaching ear to ear. "Yes, yes I am." He sat up and pulled at the sheet. "And when I last checked, so were you," he teased.

"Right, because we had sex. Naked sex." She pulled the sheet tighter. "I mean, all sex is naked, obviously. Except dirty sex, that's not always naked. Which we did not have," she quickly corrected herself, "not that there's anything wrong with dirty sex, actually it can be kind of hot. Not to say the sex wasn't hot. Oh my god it won't stop." Felicity wondered if it was possible to wish herself into disappearing.

Oliver stood and pulled her in, kissing her. When he pulled back he was holding her face, looking her in the eye. "Felicity," he stated, effectively shutting her up.

"Right." She nodded; thankful he put a stop to her word vomit before she could say anything more humiliating than she already had, if it were even possible. "You know what? I think I'm just going to go shower…"

He smiled and kissed her. He glanced at the clock over her shoulder. They had effectively slept the entire day away, well into the evening. He sighed, disappointed. While they had both needed the rest, he was sad they couldn't just hole themselves up and pretend like the rest of the world didn't exist. "I'd join you, but then we may never leave your apartment, and I have to see Thea."

She blushed and let her eyes drop; disappointed, but also slightly relieved she'd have the shower to herself and time to gather her thoughts. Without another word she made her way to the bathroom, shutting the door softly behind her.

Oliver grinned at her retreating figure; the fact that he made her nervous and affected her filled him with satisfaction. He listened as the water turned on, trying hard not to dwell on the thought of his IT girl naked in the shower.

As he dressed he glanced around her room, taking in the warmth of it. He noticed the dresser, photos strewn around the mirror, and he approached it to see. There was a photo of a much younger Felicity and her mother at a family function. His eyes scanned, there were a few photos of her and some girlfriends, ones he hadn't recognized. Their world was so small sometimes that the thought of Felicity spending time outside the few people in the foundry felt strange to him. He felt a bit of jealousy in his chest and shook it off. She was allowed to have a life outside of him, he knew that, but he never was good at sharing.

Traces of the pre-island Ollie still existed after all.

He smiled at a picture of her and John, baby Sara in between them. He lingered there for just a moment, missing his friend, and he was anxious to get to the foundry. A photo booth strip in the corner of the mirror caught his eye. He did a double take, but sure enough, it was Felicity and Laurel. He picked it up, wondering exactly how much he had missed. Four frames of friendship, one that looked much more than acquaintances. They had goofy faces, and looked like they were really laughing. In the last frame Felicity was kissing Laurel's cheek as she made a surprised face into the camera.

"I was pretty wasted that night." Felicity's voice startled him, something that was not lost on him. He found it comforting and unsettling all at the same time that he relaxed enough in her apartment for anyone to sneak up on him. He'd have to fix that, because he needed to be on alert at all times. He turned facing her, feeling slightly guilty that he was invading her privacy.

"I mean, that's not why I have photos with Laurel," she continued. "We're friends now. Actually, strangely, really good friends. Didn't see that one coming. But that's why I'm laughing so hard in those, really drunk. In fact, if there were like maybe three more frames, you would see the miserable phase of that night with the crying and the hurling…"

He looked down at the photos in his hand. "Laurel doesn't drink…" It was a statement, but it was also a question as he worried that his ex, and friend, had broken her sobriety.

Felicity smirked. "She's still sober. But it was a rough night, for both of us. So, I drank…also for both of us. For a little bit, it made everything okay. Now we just drink coffee." She clarified with a smirk. She took the photo from his hand and hung it back up on her mirror where it belonged.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go through your things, I just…"

She cut him off with a smile. "Oliver, it's fine. They're just photos. It's not like your rifled through my underwear drawer." She blushed immediately and bit her lip nervously. "You didn't, did you?" She asked in a panic.

He laughed and wrapped his arms around her, wishing her fluffy robe wasn't in the way. "No, I didn't. I figure I'll let you surprise me for a while, and see them on you. Maybe during some of that dirty sex you're so fond of," he wiggled his eyebrows up and down.

She blushed again, which was apparently the theme of the day for her, but it was a nice change from the tears lately. The air shifted around them, and she tensed at his mention of a future. She hadn't been convinced anything had really changed…after all he was still the Arrow. But he was alive, and home, and that's what mattered, so she focused on that. "I'm going to get dressed."

He grinned and reluctantly released her from his grip to sit on the bed. "By all means," he said, leaning back onto his elbows comfortably.

She swallowed, taking him. "And you're going to wait in the hall," she clarified. She wondered if it were possible for him to look any more tempting.

"Nothing I haven't seen before," he teased.

She giggled. "Do you want to go see your sister or not? Because if you keep this up, I'm pretty sure we won't get anywhere."

He stood, throwing his head back with an exasperated sigh. "Fine. You killed it by mentioning my sister anyway. Gross. Mind if I borrow your phone? Mine's out of commission."

She glanced over to her nightstand. "I must have left it on the coffee table last night, go for it."

He kissed her quickly on his way out, propping her door open wider.

"Oliver!" Felicity scolded.

"Fine," he said, shutting her door in defeat.

He found her phone and in typical Felicity fashion, it was password protected. He moved towards her door and asked for her password through the wood. She responded by pulling the door open just enough for him to slip the phone through, popping in her password quickly, and slipping it back out. "What, you don't trust me?" He asked with exaggerated shock.

"With technology?" She called back. "Never."

He grinned. He had missed this - their banter back and forth. He missed normalcy. Not that their lives were ever normal, but it was as close as they'd ever come. He went to dial Thea when a text message popped up and before he could stop himself, he had read it.

The jealousy had popped back up, but this time he hadn't felt that it was unwarranted. Ray Palmer's smug face smiled up at him.

RP: Hope you got some sleep, beautiful. Are we still good for tonight? :)

His jaw tightened. He knew technically he had no claim on her, and that he was sure him showing up last night was a game changer, but it didn't make Ray Palmer any less irritating. What he wouldn't give to arrow him right through his chest.

He typed out a response quickly.

Something came up. Talk later.

He knew he'd pay for it later if he hit send, but he wasn't lying. Still, the irritation lingered.

"What's got your panties in a bunch?' For the second time that day, her voice startled him.

"Huh? Nothing." He quickly deleted the text, deciding not to face Felicity's wrath, and backed out of her messages, dropping his arms to his sides.

"It's not nothing. You're doing that thing," she pointed to his right hand, which he was twitching in aggravation.

"What thing?"

"That thing, like you want to arrow someone, but you're missing your bow…like fake nocking an arrow."

He ignored her observations when the phone in his hand began ringing, Diggle's face showing on the screen.

"Diggle," Oliver answered, glad to hear from his partner.

There was silence for just a beat. "Oliver? Is that really you man?" Diggle responded.

"Back from the dead."

"You're not kidding. Where have you been?" His friend was eager to hear what had kept him from Starling.

Oliver sighed heavily. "It's a long story."

"Then it'll have to wait. We've got a situation with Brick and his men. We've got to handle this tonight," he spoke urgently. "We need Felicity on the coms…"

"Right, we'll be right over."

"Oliver?"

"Yea?"

"It's good to have you back, man. Lord knows this team needs you...this city needs you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there you have it. Warning: Angsty Olicity is on it's way!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity spent the night together, but have things really changed? Can he be both Oliver Queen and the Arrow after all?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you guys for reviewing! It means a lot! Alright, well, angsty chapter. I'll try to update the next chapter quickly so you guys aren't too grumpy :P I promise it will get better. Things always have to get worse before they get better, right?

Oliver stepped into the Foundry after they had diffused the situation in the Glades, and nothing seemed to change at all. He walked, familiar ground beneath his feet, and felt like he was home. He stood in front of the case that still held his hood, a uniform he had taken up years ago to save his city.

Felicity turned in her chair, swinging around to face him, beautiful as ever.

Roy walked up and shook his friends hand for the first time since his return. "Welcome back."

"Sorry it took me so long to stop by, I had to see Thea," Oliver explained.

He made his way over to Felicity and placed a hand on her shoulder. She laid her hand over his and tilted her head into his arm, shutting her eyes. Somehow Oliver finally stepping into the foundry solidified the fact that wasn't only alive but he was there, with her, more than anything else had. A weight was lifted off of her chest.

"Well, there's something I never thought I'd see again," Diggle's voice pulled them out of the moment, and he strode over to Oliver. "Welcome home, Oliver." He held his hand out to shake, but Oliver simply bypassed it and pulled his friend into a hug.

Felicity grinned. "Aww bro hug," she teased and for the first time in months she felt at home. The foundry door cracked open once more and the sound of heels meeting the cement floor made their way down the stairs.

Laurel stood in front of the group, and Oliver approached her. "I don't believe it," she gasped, lips parted and eyes wide at the man in front of her. She hugged him, eyes glistening with tears, happy to have her friend home.

"It's good to see you, Laurel." He stepped away then, back towards the center of the room to address his team. "I know I've been gone, and it's been a long time." He looked at Felicity and stated "Too long. But I came back as soon as I could…"

"So does that mean Ra's is dead?" Roy interrupted.

Oliver's jaw tightened at the name. "Not exactly." He exhaled heavily, unsure of where to start. "Ra's is still alive, and when he finds out I returned, he will come for me."

Laurel's brows furrowed. "I don't understand." Her gaze shifted to Felicity, averted her gaze to her brightly colored shoes.

"A blood debt needs to be paid for Sara's death," Oliver stated. "He will come for all of us this time." Oliver met her eyes then, seeing the pain of losing Sara reflecting back. He wanted to tell her, but he knew what it would do to her if she had found out it was Thea that put the arrows in Sara's chest; and she had been unstable for so long. This could send her over the edge, and at the end of the day his only goal was to protect his sister. If keeping it from her saved Laurel too, that was just a bonus.

"So we find her killer."

"Laurel," he said. "We will find Sara's killer eventually. I promise."

Felicity went and stood by her friend, letting her know silently that she was there and Laurel wasn't alone.

"You are unbelievable." Laurel snapped.

The room felt heavy as everyone diverted their gaze from the standoff that was going to take place in front of them.

"Excuse me?" Oliver's brow furrowed in confusion.

Felicity interrupted, trying to keep the peace. "Oliver," she approached him carefully, softly as if he was a ticking time bomb. "Laurel knows."

His eyes snapped up to meet Laurel, ready for a fight.

"How could you keep this from me?" Laurel's voice was laced with disappointment, which cut him deeper than the anger.

"Laurel it's not that simple," he started.

"It is exactly that simple. What? You didn't think I'd find out?"

"I was trying to protect Thea," he defended. She could see him pleading for her silence with his eyes.

"By lying to me? You think I'm so consumed with vengeance that I wouldn't recognize it was Malcolm Merlyn that is responsible?"

"Laurel, I didn't tell you because you care about Thea, and –"

Laurel cut him off angrily. "I care about Sara!" She shouted. "For months now, all I can see is her falling from that rooftop, and I just want to understand, move on…I want to remember her how she was and you…"

He stepped towards her and she stepped back. "You knew, and you kept it from me. I would never hurt Thea. And if you thought that I would, if you thought that you'd have to protect her from me…well, then you don't know me at all."

He sighed in resignation. "Thea is all I have left," he explained.

"Ollie, I know you love Thea. And I know this wasn't her fault." She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. "Which is why we need to take out Malcolm."

Roy stepped forward. "I agree. We take him down now."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Felicity chimed in.

Diggle stepped forward. "First of all, Oliver's been back for all of ten minutes. Let's not rush into anything. We need time –"

"We need Malcolm." Oliver cut in.

"Oliver," Felicity objected quietly.

He looked at her then, his eyes filled with a mixture of sorrow and determination. "Thea - this city won't be safe until Ra's is dead, and I can't do that without Malcolm."

"If you won't take Malcolm out, I'll do it myself," Laurel stated crossing her arms across her chest, daring anyone to challenge her. Diggle and Roy stepped back, knowing this was not their battle.

Oliver tightened his jaw and spoke through gritted teeth. "Laurel, you're not qualified to take anybody down, let alone a former member of the League. You're not part of this."

Felicity cleared her throat, while Roy coughed nervously. Oliver looked around at his team.

"Oliver, man, things have changed…quite a bit." Roy started.

Oliver glared at him, and the young man backed down immediately, stepping back into his place.

"Laurel's more part of this than you could imagine, Oliver. She's trained," Diggle stated.

"You could have been killed tonight!" He shouted at Laurel. "You're done here," his voice was dismissive but she didn't budge.

She held her ground, squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin. "Ollie, I told you I wanted to honor Sara's memory."

"No."

"You can't just come back in here and tell me what I can and can't do, I make my own choices," her voice was raised.

"Laurel, no. Sara wouldn't want this. End of discussion," he snapped.

She rolled her eyes. "Sara would be proud."

"Proud that you're being fueled by revenge? Keep chasing that and it will eat you up inside until there's nothing left of you that Sara would recognize."

"I'm chasing justice!" She shouted. "So I'll do this with or without you…" She huffed and stormed out of the foundry, seeing red the entire way.

Felicity winced as the door slammed. "Oliver," she started but Oliver rounded on Diggle and Roy.

"How could you guys let Laurel in the field?"

"We needed the help," Roy shrugged.

"So you put her in danger?" He invaded Roy's space in his anger, ready to hit something.

"Oliver," Diggle placed his hand on his chest, separating the two vigilantes. "Laurel's proven herself enough times. And we would never send her into the field without calculating every risk. She can do this. And we needed her. Brick's men have been taking over the city, and you were dead. We had to do something."

Roy clenched his jaw in frustration. "She shouldn't be alone right now. I'll go talk to her, calm her down." He followed Laurel's footsteps up to the club, needing to get out just as much as he knew Laurel needed someone.

"This started with me. It's my mission, my city. She is not in this." Oliver defended to the remaining members of his team.

"And Malcolm?" Felicity asked. The hurt was in her voice, already knowing Oliver's answer.

"We need Malcolm…I need Malcolm."

"You have got to be kidding me!" Felicity shouted. "We are not working with him."

"I can't do this without him. I need him to train me, it's the only way to beat Ra's."

"I stood here and swore up and down that there was no scenario in which you'd be okay with working with that…monster and now you say you want him to train you!?"

"Felicity…"

"I need some air." She stormed out of the foundry; the sound of angry heels clicking up the stairs filled the silence for the second time that night.

That left Oliver and Diggle alone. Diggle stared at his friend, eyebrows raised in question. "You going to fix this?" He asked.

Oliver nodded and followed Felicity up the stairs.

 

* * *

 

 

She stood with her back to the club, bundled up in her red jacket, bright like she was, as the cool air whipped around her, trying to gather her thoughts when she heard him approach.

"Felicity," he walked towards her, but she stepped away.

"I need some air really means I don't want to talk right now," she snapped as she put more distance between them.

"I'm sorry." He wished he could say more, that he could fix this, but there were no words. Once again, he was only going to hurt her. He put his hands in the pockets of his dark leather jacket, a stark contrast to the bright colors she surrounded herself with.

She turned to face him. "For what?" She tossed her arms up in frustration. "Maybe you could be a little bit more specific. For letting us believe you were dead for weeks? Or for abandoning every principal you claim to have by getting into bed with Malcolm Meryln?"

His mouth moved to speak, but he was unsure where to start. He took a step towards her and she took one back, shaking her head no and halting his advance. "That's not why you're upset."

"While you were gone, for almost a month, I allowed myself to fantasize…to dream that maybe, just maybe, Merlyn was wrong; that you were alive, and that you'd come back, and that when you did you would be different; that almost dying would give you a new perspective on life…that you would do things…differently."

"Things between us you mean."

"Before you left, that last thing you said to me…" she stepped towards him then, closing the gap, but still feeling so distant. "…was that you loved me. Last night, you said that you loved me."

He pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth and looked away, ashamed. Knowing that he had meant those words, God he had meant them, but it didn't change things. They had fooled themselves for a couple of hours, but he would always be the Arrow and as long as he wore the hood he couldn't be Oliver Queen.

She continued. "Now you're back, and you tell me that you're working with the man who turned your sister, a woman you're supposed to love, into a killer – who killed a woman you used to love." She gaped at him in disbelief. She had been waiting for the other shoe to drop, and here it was. Knowing it was coming didn't make it any less painful.

Oliver focused on the collar of her jacket, unable to look her in the eyes.

"I don't want to be a woman that you love."

His eyes snapped to her face, and as she turned her head, her blonde ponytail swinging behind her as she walked away, his heart broke in two. He knew she deserved to be happy, it was all he had ever wanted for her, but he never imagined that however complicated things got between them; she'd choose to walk away.

 

* * *

 

 

That night he had gone to her apartment, not wanting to give her too much space. He watched her move through her apartment from his car, gathering up the nerve to knock on her door.

He had replaced his phone earlier with one of Thea's old ones, and remembered it had been resting in the center console. He decided he'd call her first, test the water's. As he picked up his phone he noticed he had a voicemail.

The message had been left the previous night and Felicity's voice came through. "Hi, it's me. Ray Palmer is taking me on a date…tomorrow night. So I'm calling to say goodbye," he deleted the message, and threw the phone against the passenger door, cracking the screen.

He started the car, and pulled away. He had already messed up so much; he wasn't about to mess up her chance to be happy. And she was clear earlier:

_Felicity Smoak did not want to be a woman that Oliver Queen loved._


	4. Searching for a Sweet Surrender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity try to pick up the pieces, but it's a different puzzle. Now they have to redefine their relationship, one way or another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Next chapter! As promised. Still angsty, but better, and it's going forward, and that's what matters! I kind of just glossed over the Ra's stuff since the show explained all that, and then I can just skip it and focus on Olicity instead of everything else, so if you aren't caught up on Arrow you may want to wait. Thanks for all the reviews, follows, favorites, and PM's, I really appreciate it! :)

To say Felicity Smoak was angry was an understatement. She was livid. Along with her anger, she was crushed. She and Oliver hadn't discussed what happened in the alleyway (or her bedroom) and kept things on a professional level. The small touches had stopped, they avoided being alone together, and truthfully, she had been avoiding the foundry in general as much as possible, instead filling her time with work and Ray Palmer, the two of which generally coincided.

But then Oliver had left, _for the third time_ , and she wanted to kill him. The problem was, she had no way of knowing if he were alive to even kill. She was pretty positive Nanda Parbat didn't have cell reception. She had asked him not to go. Laurel had asked him not to go. Thea had asked him not to go. What happened with Malcolm Merlyn wasn't his problem to fix. Thea was a big girl, she knew what she was doing when she handed him over to the League. Oliver was walking to his death, yet again.

And this time he had taken John Diggle with him.

When he had returned a week later, she hadn't greeted him warmly. She just walked by with a passive "Good to see you're still alive, but I have to get to work," and instead gave John a warm hug, thankful they were both alive and well, leaving the foundry to quietly breakdown in her car where no one could see her, and where she could pretend she still didn't care about Oliver Queen.

It had been two months since their conversation in the alley behind Verdant. He had new scars to show from his training with Malcolm, and his trip to save him, but they had all healed. In fact, the only scar that wouldn't seem to heal was the unseen one that Felicity had left from her words.

_"I don't want to be a woman that you love."_

The words haunted him, constantly ripping open the wound. Though they had picked up the pieces of their professional relationship, he and Felicity hadn't really spoken since. She spent as little time in the Foundry as possible, and he avoided situations where they were left alone as much as possible. It was as if his confessions to her and their night together had never happened. Every moment – the unspoken words, pulling away when all he wanted to do was reach out, pretending he didn't know how it felt to love her – killed him. But he pushed on because he couldn't focus on being Oliver Queen. He needed to focus on being the Arrow.

They went on like that for a while, civil at best.

He had dismissed the idea of taking over for Ra's al Gul, but now that he was home and everything he wanted was out of his reach, he wondered what the point was. Maybe the offer Ra's gave him wouldn't be the worst thing. In the meantime, he dove into his Arrow work to distract himself.

"Any movement on our guy?" he called out as he placed his bow on the metal table and unzipped his jacket. He had patrolled the city, coming up empty handed. Thomas Sherwood, a man who took Brick's failure as an opportunity to climb the ranks in the criminal world, was their latest target. He was cruel, wanted for murder among other things, and he was smart.

"Not from what I can tell," Felicity stated, eyeing her monitors in front of her. "Though I'm not sure that means much."

"It's been quiet." Diggle stated. Oliver nodded in agreement. "Maybe I should postpone…" Diggle started but Felicity and Laurel cut him off.

"No, absolutely not!" the girls said in unison.

Oliver chuckled to himself as the women rounded on his friend. He could defend a city from super soldiers, but this wasn't something he wanted to get in the middle of.

"You don't postpone a wedding," Laurel stated.

"It could be a risk," Diggle replied.

"Digg, I get where you're coming from. But let's be honest, you cancel on Lyla and you're definitely going to be at risk. Besides, we need to keep moving forward and living our lives," Felicity pointed out.

"And it's not like you won't have protection…" Laurel chimed in again.

Felicity nodded. "Seriously, just about all of Lyla's guests are ex military, current military, or ARGUS…then of course there's your guests: Arsenal, Canary…bitch with WIFI," she grinned.

"What am I? Chopped liver?" Oliver finally jumped into the conversation.

"You," Felicity patted his shoulder, an action that did not go unnoticed by the former CEO, "are on best man duty. Not Arrow duty."

He grinned at his girl Wednesday, an interaction that hadn't happened in weeks. His chest swelled with relief, and he felt like maybe there was hope after all. Her hands on him were calming, healing even. When she pulled away and turned her attention back to her computers he felt the loss. He frowned, and tried to shake his thoughts. If he dwelled on every movement, every touch, every word, he'd never get out of this slump he was in. He went over to the salmon ladder, ready to work out his aggression.

"Digg, you need to get home to that baby girl of yours, and more importantly, to get some sleep. You have a big day tomorrow," Laurel pushed on the man's back, shoving him towards the steps.

He laughed as he pretended to protest. "Alright, alright. I'll walk you to your car on the way out," he said as placed his arm around his friend. The two laughed on the way out, leaving Felicity and Oliver alone, the clanging of the salmon ladder filling the space.

Oliver tensed and the air shifted between the two of them. Felicity bit her lip nervously and made for her purse. "Well, I should probably get going too."

"Right," he nodded, jumping the bar up higher on the salmon ladder.

She made her way to the stairs and stopped and turned, her hand on the railing. "Actually, I'm kind of hungry. I was going to grab a burger or something…I can wait if you'll be done soon," she suggested casually.

His grip loosened and he fell from the salmon ladder.

Felicity ran towards him. "Oh my god, Oliver, I'm so sorry! Are you okay," she was on the training mats, leaning over him, and her hand went to his chest, making sure he was unharmed. "I didn't mean to distract you!"

He coughed and sat up, pulling away, her touch leaving a burning sensation on his skin. He didn't know what was going on anymore. He craved her touch, and now that she had finally closed the distance that had been growing between them, now that things seemed to be starting to get back to normal he had felt a different kind of pain, one he couldn't yet define.

He nodded and she stood again, hurt in her eyes at his retreat. "Felicity, wait," he called out. She spun around to face him. "Burgers sound perfect." He looked down at the palms of his hands, inspecting the calluses on his hands. "I've missed this," he admitted quietly.

"Oliver…"

"Our friendship, I mean," he clarified quickly, putting his hands up in defense to take any pressure off of her. He swallowed nervously.

She smiled softly. "Burgers then."

"And milkshakes."

"No milkshakes," she shook her head.

He glared at her and mocked offense. "No milkshakes?"

"I have a dress to fit into for tomorrow. I shouldn't even be doing a burger. No shake."

He chuckled and stood up, facing her. "We can share a shake," he suggested.

She laughed. "You just don't take no for an answer, do you? Fine, but we are getting chocolate."

Oliver pulled his shirt over his head and grabbed his jacket off of a nearby chair. "You're killing me."

"Oh come on, who doesn't like chocolate shakes?"

They bantered back and forth as they walked out of the foundry and down the street to Big Belly about shake flavors. For the first time in a long time, Oliver was happy.

They had talked all through dinner, and they shared a chocolate shake even though they had agreed to compromise on strawberry on the way over. It was as if her touching him on the shoulder in passing earlier had opened a floodgate. He couldn't keep his distance anymore, and he knew he'd never be able to pull away from her again and keep his feelings for her in check.

She was telling a story about her mother, and he watched the way she moved her hands, mint green polish on her fingers, recounting her mothers antics in such a way that his heart swelled with admiration for the girl in front of him.

"Do you want to be my date at Digg's wedding tomorrow?" He blurted out in the middle of her story.

Her pink lips rounded in a perfect oh, and she stopped talking immediately. She sat so still with wide eyes that he wondered if she had stopped breathing.

"I mean, just as friends if you want. I just figured neither one of us are going with anyone. I can pick you up on the way, it'll be fun." He was talking fast, his heart hammering in his chest. Oliver Queen had game, but when it came to Felicity he was a bundle of nerves, and it made him unsure of himself.

"I actually have a date already," she said sadly.

He smiled at her dejectedly, "Right, of course." He turned his attention towards the chocolate shake, "Well he's a lucky guy."

"I'll save you a dance though?"

He beamed. "Looking forward to it."

They had lost track of time, sharing stories, and just getting lost in catching up until one of the workers had casually let them know they were closing up shop. Oliver walked her back to her car in silence, and they stood in front of the driver's side door for a moment, unsure of where to go from here. This was new territory for both of them, and though they ignored the things that had developed between them and pretended like they could go back, there was no denying that things had changed forever. They had to redefine their relationship one way or another.

She looked at her feet nervously. "So I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I guess so," he replied.

She opened her door and started the car, putting her purse in the passenger seat. "Thanks for hanging out with me tonight," she said as she stood with the car door in between them. "It's been a while, and I'm glad we can still be friends."

She had a slight emphasis on the word friends and he contemplated whether or not she had put the door between them on purpose and decided not to dwell on it. "I had fun," he grinned. He hesitated for just a moment before leaning forward and kissing her on the cheek tenderly, after all, they were friends. _Friends do this, right?_ he thought to himself. "Thank you."

"Goodnight, Oliver," she blushed. As she sat down in her driver's seat she heard his whispered reply before shutting the car door.

"Goodnight, Felicity."

 

 

* * *

 

 

Oliver took a deep breath and pulled at his bow tie once again, eyeing the doors and pacing back and forth.

"You alright man?" Diggle smirked next to him.

Oliver stopped and turned his attention to the groom. "Huh?"

Digg clapped his hand on Oliver's back. "Man, the way you're pacing you'd think you're the one getting married today."

Oliver faced his formed bodyguard and took a deep breath. "You're right, I'm sorry. How are _you_?"

Diggle chuckled. "Oliver, I got my shit figured out. I made the mistake of letting her go once before and I learned my lesson. Besides, I've already done this. It'll be a cake walk."

Oliver smiled softly at his friend, "I'm happy for you, Digg." And he was, but he couldn't help the pang of jealousy in his chest.

"You know, it's not impossible."

Oliver's eyebrows raised in confusion. "What's that?"

"To be happy…with what we do," John's face became serious as he took in Oliver's reaction to his words.

Oliver took a steadying breath and focused his gaze on the buttons on his jacket as he pretended to fix them. "It's not that simple."

"From where I'm standing, it is that simple." He looked up to face Diggle and followed his line of sight, trained on the door where Felicity entered in a short mint green dress with a keyhole cut out, her hair pinned on one side, a cascade of blonde curls hanging over her shoulder. His breath hitched and he wondered if his heart was still beating. She was beautiful.

Laurel walked in behind her, also a vision in a long black and tan flowing dress with a deep plunge neckline, sophisticated as always. She linked her arm in Felicity's and the two chatted casually, Laurel leaning in to whisper something that made the blonde snicker and lightly smack her arm in jest. He made his way toward them; ignoring the pleasantries that passerby's threw his way. Felicity had turned to face Laurel and he caught the back of her dress (or lack thereof) and his step faltered. It was open, the fabric sitting just below the dimples in her back. She was incredible, and he wanted nothing more than to run his hands down her exposed skin. He shoved his hands in his pocket afraid he'd be unable to keep from touching her.

"Ollie," Laurel grinned at his approach.

Felicity turned around, a soft smile playing on her lips.

"Hey Laurel," he greeted.

"How's John holding up?" She asked.

"Like a champ." Oliver then turned his attention to Felicity, and Laurel looked between the two of them.

She leaned in towards the two and excused herself, "I'm going to go find us seats."

Oliver and Felicity stood facing each other, and he leaned in to greet her with a kiss on the cheek. He wondered if this was going to be a thing now, if this was as close as he would come to kissing her from now on. She inhaled sharply and his kiss lingered just a few seconds too long as he breathed in the scent of her hair – he couldn't quite place it, but it was soft and familiar, like coming home. "You look beautiful," he said as he pulled away from her.

She blushed. "Thank you," she replied.

"I have to say I'm relieved…"

She raised her eyebrows in question. "Relieved that I look beautiful?"

He beamed. "No. I had no doubts about that. Laurel…"

"Laurel always looks beautiful."

He let out an exasperated sigh. "I meant I'm relieved that Laurel is your date…"

Her pink lips formed into an all too familiar oh, and his mind played back to last night. "Oliver, Laurel's not my date…"

Just then Ray Palmer walked in, placing his hand on the small of Felicity's back. "Hey!" He smiled and kissed her on the side of her cheek. "There you are. I was looking all over for you."

Felicity shifted uncomfortably under his touch and Oliver's watch, unable to meet either one's eyes.

"Mr. Queen," Ray extended his free hand to the former owner of Queen Consolidated.

Oliver took the man's hand begrudgingly. "Roy, nice to see you again."

"Ray," he corrected.

Oliver ignored his correction and focused on Felicity. "Well, I should get up there. It's about to start. I'll see you after?" 

She nodded awkwardly, wishing this would just end. "Sure, sounds good."

He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek again, exuding confidence that hadn't been there earlier. "Good to see you again, Roy." He slapped the man's shoulder in what came off as a friendly gesture, but was probably too hard, before turning to walk towards the front. He spun around once more to face them. "And I'll be collecting on that dance you promised," he grinned with a wink.

Ray watched his retreating back with distaste and confusion. "What was that?"

Felicity could feel the heat in her cheeks. "Kill me. Kill me now," she muttered under her breath. She crossed her left arm over her chest, pulling her right arm in. "That was Oliver. He's a friend."

"A friend?"

"Yep." She said popping the p. "He's like that with everyone. Laurel grabbed us seats, come on." She tugged his arm and found Laurel in the crowd.

 

* * *

 

 

The ceremony was intimate, just a small crowd of Lyla and Diggle's family and friends. Felicity beamed as her friends exchanged their personal vows, her heart filling with joy…something that didn't happen often anymore.

"Lyla," Diggle held his bride's hand, rubbing his thumb over her ring finger, trying to steady his voice. "My heart has been yours since the moment I laid eyes on you. In this crazy world we live in, you manage to bring me joy, and hope – something that does not come easy in our line of work," he grinned.

Oliver glanced at Felicity, whose smile faded slightly. She felt his eyes trained on her and focused on Lyla's dress, forcing herself not to meet his gaze.

"…You're constantly reminding me of what it means to live, to laugh…to love. You are my light. I vow to always be that same light in your life…" Tears pricked the corner of her eyes and she finally allowed herself to steal a glance at Oliver. His blue eyes pierced right through her and her breath faltered. Where she had hoped to see promise and possibility she only found sadness and regret. She swallowed and focused on the hands in her lap.

"I promise to protect you, to keep you and our beautiful daughter safe. To do everything in my power to make you happy, to grow together, and more importantly to never let you go again."

A tear rolled down her cheek and Ray leaned in and whispered softly "Who would have thought? Felicity Smoak is a sucker for weddings…"

She tried to chuckle, but it came out as more of a sigh. Ray watched the couple exchange rings, and Felicity pretended to adjust in her seat, suddenly feeling crowded. She needed to get out of there. The heat on her cheeks intensified and she was afraid that even though she had been so strong the past few weeks, _no months_ , she was finally about to break. She inhaled sharply trying to calm her nerves; worried she'd suffocate under Oliver's gaze.

Laurel reached for her hand and squeezed, letting her know she was there. The blonde looked at the stunning brunette, thankful to have a friend with such strength. If only Felicity could channel it.

"Ladies and gentleman," the officiate spoke. "It is my pleasure to introduce to you, for the _second_ time," the crowd shared a laugh, "Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Diggle!"

The small crowd stood clapping and cheers filled the room as John and Lyla walked up the aisle, hand in hand, the happiest that they had seemed in a long time. Oliver made his way back up the aisle, his arm hooked in Lyla's Maid of Honor's arm – Roy and another bridesmaid directly behind them. As Oliver walked, his eyes never left Felicity's face, searching for something – anything that indicated she was thinking of him the way he couldn't stop thinking of her – but she never lifted her eyes to him.

Ray clapped with the rest of the crowd, and he smiled as he looked to Felicity. "I secretly love weddings."

Felicity didn't respond so Laurel picked up the conversation. "I'm not so sure it's a secret when you hoot and holler like that," she teased.

"Excuse me," Felicity said, pushing past Laurel, exiting toward the side aisle. She needed to get out of there. She ignored Ray's concern and walked briskly to the bathroom. She quickly locked herself in the closest stall, pushing her back against the door and taking deep breaths.

Laurel's heels clacked on the tiles and Felicity recognized her hurried step before she spoke. "I'm fine," she called out.

"Obviously you aren't," Laurel responded.

"Well it doesn't matter, because I spent way too much time on nailing my eye makeup today to break down in the bathroom before the reception even started. God, you'd think it was prom all over again."

Laurel laughed. "Good. Then get your butt out here."

Felicity stepped out throwing her head back dramatically. "Ugh, I don't even know what my problem is."

"Oliver."

"I'm sorry, Laurel…I don't mean to make things awkward."

Laurel shrugged. "It's not awkward. Oliver being with my sister was awkward," she laughed sadly before her eyes showed grief over the mention of Sara before shaking it off. "But that's all in the past. And so is Oliver for me…don't get me wrong; I love Ollie. I think a part of me always will. But I was in love with the boy who got on the Gambit, not the man who came back from the island."

Felicity nodded. She understood, first love never really dies. But it also isn't always built to last, something she had learned herself.

"We're both very different people now," Laurel clarified. "And you reach something in Oliver that us Lance girls could never get to. You're his light."

"I just wish things weren't so hard. I just want to move on, I want to be happy and normal and…uncomplicated."

Laurel rubbed Felicity's arm soothingly. "So that's what we'll do. We'll be happy and normal and uncomplicated tonight. So freshen up, and let's go dancing," she teased.

"That sounds perfect." And with that the two ladies left the bathroom, chattering and laughing on their way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading. Don't forget to review :) This was angsty, but you were warned :P I promise, good things are coming if you stick with me! I'm guessing I'll have the next chapter done pretty soon because we have a TON of snow here and I need to do something with me time! :P


	5. My Heart's Against Your Chest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver collects on the dance Felicity promised him at Diggle's wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy you guys are liking this and sticking with it! It means a lot. Throwing more angst your way! A couple chapters left, so hang in there! Warning -- little bit of M rating in here. Also, the song I used for this chapter is Ed Sheeran's 'Kiss Me'.

"Alright, alright!" Digg shouted over the clanging of the glasses. It didn't calm the noise down though as their friends and families used their knives to tap their champagne glasses even louder, urging the couple to kiss.

Lyla laughed, leaning into her new (again) husband as he pulled her in to kiss her dramatically, dipping her back until she was laughing too hard and had to pull away to breathe as the crowd cheered them on.

"They're so cute. I love weddings," Laurel sighed, tilting her head in adoration. "I love the food," Felicity commented, taking another bite of the bacon-wrapped shrimp.

"Wedding food is so good," she mumbled.

Laurel laughed, picking up a crab cake. "What is it about hors d'oeuvres?"

Ray stared at the plate in front of him. "Oh come on, it's not that great." He pushed at his shrimp with his fork.

The girls raised their eyebrows at him. "Are you kidding? I'm eating bacon wrapped shrimp. Bacon wrapped anything is good in my book," Felicity declared. "I mean honestly, it's shrimp…wrapped in bacon."

Ray swallowed. "It's the shrimp part I'm having a problem with." He pushed it further away from him. "I hate seafood."

"Oh come on, Roy, be a real man." Oliver sat down, snatching a shrimp from his plate and popping it into his mouth.

"Ray," he corrected once again.

"Roy!" Felicity shouted.

Ray looked at her in shock. "Are you kidding me?"

She was waving frantically. "Roy, over here!"

Ray looked embarrassed as he realized she was calling Roy Harper's attention from across the room. He chanced a look at Oliver who was looking quite pleased with himself.

Roy sat down, three small plates full of appetizers. He grabbed a bacon wrapped shrimp. "Man, I love these." He shoved it into his mouth and looked around the table. "You gonna introduce me to your date, Blondie?"

She grinned. "This is Ray." Roy held his hand out to Palmer, shaking it politely. "Nice to meet you, I'm Roy."

"Yea, I got that," Ray said. "And how do you know Felicity?"

Roy looked back forth, chewing the shrimp. He swallowed and cleared his throat. "Verdant."

Ray nodded. "You spend a lot of time in that club," he noted.

"Hey, where's Thea?" Laurel asked, changing the subject.

"She had a few things to do at the club before she could leave, she should be here any minute though." As if on cue Thea walked into the reception in a crop top black dress, catching his attention immediately. "There she is. Damn, do I have the sexiest date or what?" He stood and walked to greet her.

"Hey man, that's my sister!" Oliver shouted after him.

Ray leaned in and whispered in Felicity's ear "I think I have the sexiest date here."

Oliver coughed loudly, causing Felicity to shift uncomfortably. How was she supposed to make it through her date when Oliver kept making himself known like that? The guilt was knotting her stomach, which was ridiculous because she had nothing to feel guilty about. She stood. "Do you want to dance?" She held her hand out to Ray, desperate to get away from the table.

He stood, grinning and taking off his jacket to leave on the chair. "I'd love to dance," he followed her off to the dance floor, but not before getting in the last word. "Save my seat Queen?" He patted his shoulder the same way Oliver had earlier at the ceremony, just a little too hard to be friendly.

Oliver watched as the two walked out onto the dance floor. He finished his drink and turned to Laurel, who sighed heavily.

"Do not pull me into whatever little love triangle you have going on, Ollie."

"Laurel, it's just a dance." He stood holding his hand out to her.

She sighed, placing her hand in his. "Fine."

He turned to lead her to the dance floor full of couples but Laurel pulled him back. "On one condition."

He sighed, "Laurel come on, I just want to dance."

"And I will dance with you... _if_ you just admit that you're asking me to dance to make Felicity jealous."

He rolled his eyes. "It's a dance Laurel, take it or leave it."

She stood grinning. "You are so stubborn, come on." This time, she led the way.

He pulled her in. Dancing with Laurel was easy and familiar. "Do you remember our prom?" He mused.

She laughed. "Please, do _you_ remember prom? You were hammered."

He grinned. "I remember you were beautiful."

"I remember you and Tommy spiking the punch and getting us all kicked out before they announced Prom Queen."

He tossed his head back laughing. "You would have won it, too. I'm so sorry we took that away from you."

She rolled her eyes jokingly. "Please, I was only nominated because Tommy rigged it as a joke." It was a bittersweet memory. "He would be proud, you know. You've turned out to be a good man, Ollie."

"You know, even in high school I thought he had a thing for you."

She grinned. "I miss him," she whispered.

"I know." Oliver put his face next to Laurel's and the two danced in silence, remembering their friend. He looked over her shoulder and saw Felicity through the crowd. She had opted for contacts for the evening and her eyes were lit up and sparkling as she laughed at whatever Ray said as he spun her dramatically. Ray Palmer was not a dancer, but what he lacked in moves he clearly made up for with humor and charm.

"She looks happy," he admitted out loud.

Laurel looked over, knowing she'd find Felicity. "She loves you."

He looked away again. "I don't know about that."

"And does she know you love her?"

Oliver kept his eyes on the blonde, another man's arms around her, and the pain in his chest was almost blinding. "She knows. She's never said it back."

Laurel patted his shoulder. "So she hasn't said it out loud. You're both scared. And you're doing this dance around each other and everyone else sees it but you guys. What's holding you back?"

Felicity twirled again, crashing back into Ray's chest as she almost lost her balance, cracking up and throwing her head back. Oliver looked away, not being able to stomach it anymore. He wished he could make her laugh like that. "I can't give her what she wants, what she _deserves_. Besides, she asked me to walk away, so I did."

"Ollie, take it from me, she just wants you to fight for her. That's all any girl ever really wants." The song started to trail off and Laurel dropped her arms from his shoulders. "Go ask her to dance."

Oliver looked back and forth between the two girls and Laurel nodded her head in encouragement. "I'll be fine."

"Thank you," he left her there on the dance floor, pushing his way past the couples, making a direct line to the stunning blonde across the room. He rubbed his palms on his pants pockets, suddenly he was incredibly nervous.

He approached the couple who hadn't noticed him yet, still wrapped up in whatever it was that was so funny. He cleared his throat and tapped Ray on the shoulder. Ray turned, twirling Felicity clumsily with him who still laughed as she crashed into Oliver. She placed one hand on his chest to steady herself and catch her breath. "Oliver!" She greeted.

"What can we do for you?" Ray was in a much better mood than when he had left the table.

Oliver smiled tightly, his CEO face. "Mind if I cut in?" Ray passed her off. "Absolutely, I'm afraid I'm useless out here anyway." He kept one hand on Felicity's bare back, just above her waistline. "I'll grab us some drinks and meet you back at the table?" She nodded and Ray leaned in and kissed her on the cheek before disappearing into the small crowd.

They stood in silence for a moment, waiting for the next song to start, Felicity keeping her hands behind her back. The music started, a slow beat, and Oliver raised his eyebrows, holding his hands out to her. "I believe you promised to save me a dance?"

She smiled and took his hands. "I always keep my promises."

He guided her left hand onto his shoulder and pulled her close, his hand on the middle of her back. He rested his head next to hers, breathing her in and her grip on his shoulder tightened. They swayed to the voice and guitar feeling every word and note.

_My heart's against your chest_  
_Your lips pressed to my neck_  
_I'm falling for your eyes_  
_But they don't know me yet_  
_And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now_  
_Kiss me like you wanna be loved_  
_You wanna be loved_  
_You wanna be loved_  
_This feels like falling in love_  
_Falling in love_  
_We're falling in love_

Oliver's thumb danced on her back, softly rubbing back and forth, and his hand moved lower, pulling her closer still. She let go of his hand, tracing up his arm and wrapping it around his other shoulder and he wrapped his arm around her waist, dipping his head down to her shoulder as he traced her spine. "I wish I could hold you this way forever," he whispered.

She shut her eyes tight. "Oliver," she choked.

He pulled back to look at her. "Shh, just don't say anything. Please. It's just one dance," his eyes were pleading, and she knew in that moment he had never stopped loving her. What scared her even more was she was relieved.

She nodded and moved back into him, feeling fire on her spine as he continued the patterns with his calloused fingers.

_Yeah I've been feeling everything_   
_From hate to love_   
_From love to lust_   
_From lust to truth_   
_I guess that's how I know you_   
_So I hold you close to help you give it up_   
_So kiss me like you wanna be loved_   
_You wanna be loved_   
_You wanna be loved_   
_This feels like falling in love_   
_Falling in love_   
_We're falling in love_

He turned his face into her, kissing the corner of her jaw. "Felicity," he whispered into her ear.

Before he could say it, she broke away. "I need some air," she managed to get out before rushing out of the reception into the hall. She walked as quickly as she could, slamming the elevator button.

"Felicity!" He followed her out, determined not to let her get away this time. "Felicity, stop."

She pushed the button furiously, knowing it wouldn't make it come any faster. She watched the light above, waiting for it to get to her floor. The door dinged and she rushed in pushing the bottom floor and the door close buttons, but it didn't matter, he stopped the door with his shoulder, pushing his way in.

"Oliver," she warned.

His lips crashed into hers then, hands holding her face, his hips pinning her against the wall. He pulled back for a breath. "Tell me you don't love me."

Their breaths were heavy."I can't," she cried. She pushed on his chest, but he didn't budge.

He caressed her face. "If you don't want me, then say never," he dipped his head down to catch her eyes. "Say you never loved me," he recalled the very words she had spoken to him at the hospital all those months ago.

She brought her lips to meet his again, but this time they didn't slow down. Their kiss was full of passion and urgency, making up for all the promises they couldn't keep.His lips were demanding, his hands rough as he gripped her hips. She moaned into his mouth and he knew he had to have her.

He slammed the stop button on the elevator, halting its descent and immediately reaching for her again.

She pulled his suit jacket down, revealing his white shirt underneath. He refused to let go over her though, so the fabric bundled in the crook of his elbows as he slid her dress up, pressing himself into her hip.

She undid his bowtie; needing to get to his shirt and feel his chest underneath as her fingers frantically worked his shirt buttons.

"Felicity," he muttered when he felt her fingers on his belt.

She briefly registered that they were in an elevator in the middle of a wedding, but she didn't care. She worried her name from his lips was him coming to his senses as well so she stopped him. She kissed him hard and slipped her hand through his pants, feeling him through his boxer briefs.

He groaned and slid his hand further under her dress, pushing her panties aside to rub her as his other hand groped her breast through the soft fabric of her dress.

Felicity's hand pulled back and she worked the button of his pants quickly, pulling the zipper down with determination. She grabbed the waistband of his boxer briefs and pulled them low enough to release him and without hesitation he removed his hand from her to lift her up and guide himself to thrust into her. It was hard and fast, they shared the same breath as she cried out.

He pushed into her again and again, taking out all the frustration of the past few months. Her heels dug into the back of his thighs and she threw her head back in pleasure. He took advantage of the movement by nipping at her neck, neither one caring that he was marking her.

His grunts mixed with her moans, filling the small space. Their breathing was erratic and as she cried out he knew she was close. He pushed harder and faster until they both fell over the edge, his name falling from her lips.

They stayed like that, she rested her head against the wall and he leaned into her chest, catching their breaths, neither one saying a word. He kissed her neck, soothing the spots he had abused with his mouth as he lifted her up to put her down, still pinning her to the wall until she got her balance.

She pushed him away, fixing her dress and pulling her hair to cover her neck. Oliver didn't say anything as he pulled his jacket back up onto his shoulders and zipped his pants. He didn't bother with his bowtie or tucking his shirt back in as he buttoned the few Felicity had managed to unbutton successfully.

Felicity leaned forward and pressed the button to go back to the reception floor and crossed her arms in front of his chest. Her cheeks were flushed.

"We should talk," Oliver said.

Felicity stared up at the numbers indicating which floor they were on and watched as they climbed higher. "I don't really want to talk."

Oliver threw his arms up. "Felicity, we can't just go back in there like nothing happened."

"That's exactly what we're going to do."

He was angry. "So what? You're just going to let me fuck you in an elevator and go back to your date with Ray?"

Her eyes snapped to him. "What do you want me to do Oliver? You're always leaving!" She retorted.

He clenched his fists in anger, banging the wall in frustration. "I'm right here!"

"For how long? How long until you're back on the island, or chasing some lunatic across the world? How long until you shut down and exile yourself as punishment? How long until someone else is quicker than you and better than you and you don't come back?"

He stood in silence, shocked at her words.

"You are not invincible, Oliver!"

The elevator doors dinged and opened and she stepped out without hesitation, right into Roy. "Dude, I've been looking for you guys everywhere," he stated. "There's a situation." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr: taytayolicity
> 
> Next chapter will be up soon, so thank you for reading, following, commenting, and sticking with me through the angst!!! :)


	6. Dust to Dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver & Felicity put their talk on pause while they handle an unexpected situation.

_“We should talk,” Oliver said._

_Felicity stared up at the numbers indicating which floor they were on and watched as they climbed Oliver. “I don’t really want to talk.”_

_Oliver threw his arms up. “Felicity, we can’t just go back in there like nothing happened.”_

_“That’s exactly what we’re going to do.”_

_He was angry. “So what? You’re just going to let me fuck you in an elevator and go back to your date with Ray?”_

_Her eyes snapped to him. “What do you want me to do Oliver? You’re always leaving!” She shouted back._

_He clenched his fists in anger, banging the wall in frustration. “I’m right here!”_

_“For how long? How long until you’re back on the island, or chasing some lunatic across the world? How long until you shut down and exile yourself as punishment? How long until someone else is quicker than you and better than you and you don’t come back?”_

_He stood, shocked._

_“You are not invincible, Oliver!”_

_The elevator doors dinged and opened and she stepped out, right into Roy. “Dude, I’ve been looking for you guys everywhere. There’s a situation.”_

 

* * *

 

 

Oliver had never been so irritated in his life. “What situation?” He growled in response.

Roy looked between the two. Felicity kept her eyes to the ground, her face flushed. He decided it best to ignore their disheveled appearance. “Ray’s gone.”

Felicity raised her eyes, wide with fear and guilt. “What do you mean Ray’s gone?”

He shrugged, not knowing how to soothe Felicity, sorry that he was the one sharing the news. “He went outside to get some air, Laurel went with him. He seemed upset. I don’t know, I guess these guys came out of nowhere…there were three of them. Laurel tried, but there were too many. They took him.”

“Who took him?” Oliver snapped. This was the last thing he needed.

Roy put his hands up. “Man, I don’t know. Laurel managed to knock one of the guys out, she’s got him in a conference room downstairs.” A group of party guests made their way out into the hallway. He waved his arm. “Come on man, we gotta deal with this before Digg realizes anything is going on.”

“Oh my god, oh my god. This is the _worst_ karma ever.” Felicity rushed trying to keep up with the men’s long strides.

Oliver gave her a look, effectively shutting her up. “Felicity, don’t. This is not anyone’s fault. We’ll get him back.” His jaw tensed. Fucking someone else’s date in the elevator was such a pre-island thing to do, and he felt guilty enough. He knew that it was more than just fucking with Felicity – it was everything. Yet somehow in this moment, it made him feel worse. He shook his head at his bad luck.

Roy led them down the stairs into a dark conference room where Laurel stood over the man tied to the chair, completely passed out. Her hair was untidy, face red. She had been hit.

“Oh my god!” Felicity rushed to her, touching the spot delicately.

Laurel winced, pulling her face away. “I’ll be fine. They came out of nowhere. Ray got a hit or two off, but it was a complete surprise,” she explained. “I fought them off as long as I could…Felicity, I’m so sorry!”

Oliver took a look at the man. “We have to move him.” Roy nodded in agreement, untying him from the chair and instead restraining his hands and legs. Oliver stooped low, throwing the man on his shoulder. “Laurel, you go ahead and keep a look out. We get him to the car; take him back to the Foundry. I’ll get whatever answers we need there.”

They moved quickly and efficiently, like a well-oiled machine.

* * *

 

The three vigilantes changed while Felicity watched the man lying on the cement floor of the foundry. She watched nervously, not wanting him to wake up until they had come back. “Thank God for Laurel’s right hook,” she sighed. She jumped, feeling Oliver’s gaze on her.

Sure enough, he stood in his full Arrow gear, watching her in quiet contemplation. “Felicity,” he moved towards her.

“I am a horrible person,” she whispered, tears welling up. “What if something happens to him?”

He wanted to reach out to her in that moment, touch her, to reassure her. “I will get him back for you,” the promise broke him as he spoke the words.

She nodded, moving back to her computer as the scan finished. “Got him…Ray’s cell was traced to…Palmer Technologies,” she stated confused. “Why would someone kidnap him and take him there?”

Arsenal moved into view. “Maybe he has something they want…something he’d only have access to at work.”

She pondered for a moment, and her face paled. “Oh no,” she worried. She began typing furiously, pulling up the servers at Palmer Tech. Oliver stood over her shoulder, watching what she was doing.

“Felicity, what’s wrong?” She pulled a video feed up; it was Palmer’s office. He was at a chair, a computer in front of him. Thomas Sherwood stood behind him, a gun to his head, while someone else moved around the room.

“Is there an audio feed?” Oliver asked.

Felicity shook her head. “No. I purposefully disabled that. We needed privacy.”

Roy chuckled. “What, don’t want people hearing you in Ray’s office?”

He was met with an intimidating glare from Oliver, and an embarrassed Felicity. “So not what I meant,” she winced. “We’ve been working on a project…”

Oliver kept his gaze on Roy, daring him to speak up again while he directed his words to his IT girl. “What kind of project?”

“It’s complicated,” she started.

Canary walked out, and brought their attention to their guest. “Looks like someone’s waking up,” she said, crouching in front of the man.

Oliver put his hand on Felicity’s shoulder. “Why don’t you wait upstairs?” He asked gently before turning on his voice modulator.

She nodded, both not wanting to be seen by the criminal, but more not wanting to hear. She stood and made her way up the stairway, hearing the Arrow’s bark echo through the room on her way out. “What do you want with Ray Palmer?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Fifteen minutes later they were upstairs, the man once again passed out, this time being held up between Laurel and Roy. “What the hell is an atom suit?” Oliver shouted. He walked briskly, opening the back door for the other two to take the man out while he had words with Felicity.

She winced; she was hoping they’d never have to have this conversation. “Ray found this project that Queen Consolidated had scrapped, A.T.O.M. – Advanced Technology Operating Mechanism…it’s an exosuit, basically he took all the military grade weapons and shrunk it down.”

“And why on earth would he need that?”

She looked him in the eye. “He wanted to help the city.”

His lips pressed into a thin line. “And you helped him?”

She squared her shoulders. “He can change this city,” she started. “I just wanted…”

Oliver’s face fell into the mask he wore when he played Oliver Queen, billionaire playboy. He was pulling away from her, putting up the wall.

“You’re not the only one who can do good, Oliver.”

He invaded her space then, anger puffing out his chest. “Felicity, you helped him create a weapon! What happens when Sherwood gets his hands on it?”

She pushed towards him, not backing down. “I helped him create something that he can save this city with. Sherwood won’t get a hold of it. You’ll stop him.”

“You mean I’ll clean up the mess you and your boyfriend made!” He stormed away, slamming the door behind him.

 

* * *

 

 

She paced back and forth, her blood boiling. She couldn’t just stand in the foundry while Ray and Oliver were out there. She felt helpless, so she grabbed her tablet and her keys, making sure she had an earpiece in before rushing up the stairs and into her Mini Cooper. She raced down the damp roads, city lights reflecting in the puddles that splashed as her tires ripped through them without mercy.

When she pulled up to Palmer Tech, she took in the blue sign that illuminated the sky. She didn’t know what she was planning to do; she just needed to be there. Maybe if she got to the server’s she could lock down the files on the A.T.O.M. before Ray opened them.

She moved quietly, keeping the video feeds up on her tablet as she went. The IT department was familiar, her old stomping ground. She used her keycard and made her way into the server room. She plugged her tablet into the server directly, pulling up all the data. It was in the process of being transferred to a remote location, so she started a trace on the IP address while blocking the download and putting firewalls in place.

She turned her com back on. “Did you get him?”

“Working on it,” Oliver responded quickly.

She was so busy that she hadn’t noticed the dark figure in the doorway until he cackled. “What do we have here?” His husky voice asked. He had a black ski mask on so she couldn’t make out his features.

She jumped and let out a yelp.

“Felicity? What’s wrong?” Oliver’s panicked voice was in her ear.

She didn’t dare respond directly, putting her hands up cautiously as she met the barrel of a gun.

The man used his other hand to pull out a walkie-talkie. “Boss, we’ve got another one.” A muffled response that she couldn’t make out came through before the man replied. “She’s the pretty blonde we’ve been seeing with your guy.”

The crackle came through, this time she understood clearly. “Bring her in.”

“You got it boss,” he said, turning off the walkie-talkie. “Alright sweetheart, let’s move.” He grabbed her by the arm, forcing her to stand before grabbing her hair and drilling the gun into her side.

“Felicity!” Oliver shouted in her ear.

“Where are we going?” she gasped.

“Just gonna reunite you with your boyfriend, nothing to be worried about.”

She winced, the gun pushing into her side even harder at her question. “Kind of hard not to be worried when there’s a gun jammed in my side,” she hated that even in a hostage situation she couldn’t keep her mouth shut.

Oliver’s blood ran cold. Felicity was in the building, he knew that much. He looked to Roy, and he nodded, moving with Laurel to search while Oliver continued his standoff with Sherwood.

“We’ll take care of it,” Roy said over the coms. “Felicity, where are you?”

“Why are we leaving the IT department?” She asked, not wanting to respond directly. “Are we going to the elevators?”

“Shut up and get in,” the man muttered. He was large, too large for her small little body to fight off. They climbed into the elevator and he hit the button for the executive floor. She watched the floors climb once again, and halfway there she screamed as a large thump landed on top of the car. Her captor pushed her away with force, and she slammed her head into the side, falling to the ground.

“What the hell was that?” He growled, looking up and pointing the gun towards the ceiling. The top of the cage was ripped off and Roy dropped down in the small area, but the man was quick. He used his body weight to slam into Roy, hitting him with the butt of his gun to knock him to the floor.

“Stop!” Felicity shouted as the man continued to kick him down.

Laurel dropped down next, and he knocked his body back into hers, crashing her into the wall while he simultaneously hit the stop button on the elevator. Laurel pushed back, but she was at a disadvantage. What this guy lacked in skill he made up for in mass.

Roy moved, picking himself up off the ground. The man pulled the trigger on the gun, but Laurel yanked on his arm, misdirecting it. Felicity screamed as it ricocheted around the small car, grazing Roy in the back of the leg.

The man threw his head back and slammed it into Laurel’s knocking her unconscious. He opened the door to the elevator and grabbed Felicity by the hair again, yanking her in front of him, holding the gun at her head. “Enough!” He shouted.

Roy halted his movements, putting his arm up. He didn’t have a clear shot, anything he did in the limited space would only hurt Felicity, and he knew Oliver would never forgive him no matter which way the situation went.

“What the hell is going on!?” Oliver shouted in the earpiece.

Felicity felt the tears pricking her eyes. This was all her fault. Ray never would have needed air if she hadn’t so selfishly left him at the wedding. Now Laurel was knocked out and Roy was hurt, God only knew how badly, because she was stupid enough to show up. She placed a hand over her mouth, not wanting Oliver to hear her sobs. He needed to focus. “I’m okay,” she choked out, both trying to reassure him and herself.

She was being dragged up the stairs, trying to keep up with his large strides. Her head ached, eyes stinging. She winced again as the gun met her side with force. She knew she’d have bruising. When they stepped onto the executive floor, she saw Oliver, bow ready and pointed at Thomas Sherwood, who had a gun pointed directly behind Ray’s head.

The door clicked, and Oliver turned his back so he could keep an eye on Sherwood but see the elevators. For just a moment his face flickered with panic when he took in the appearance of his girl before gaining control and putting on his stoic mask.

“Let her go,” he roared.

The man moved into the room, making sure Felicity was his shield, walking wide around Oliver.

Sherwood chuckled. “Well, well. Seems she has quite a few admirers.”

Ray met her eyes apologetically, worry etched on his face.

“Tell me, Mr. Palmer, aren’t you concerned about just how much our hooded friend here cares for your girlfriend?”

“I’m not his girlfriend,” Felicity spoke. “I mean, not that that’s relevant right now. We’re dating, I guess…but that doesn’t make me his girlfriend. I’m no ones girlfriend,” she clarified. “I’m sorry, I just babble when I’m nervous, which clearly I am. I mean, how can I not be? There’s a gun pointed at me and I might die…nervous, scared…and shutting up. Because clearly I’m making things worse.” Her captor yanked her head back harder, causing Oliver’s jaw to tighten.

“Ouch, she was quick to clear that up.” Sherwood laughed. “Type in the code, Palmer. Type it in or we shoot the girl before you ever get to define whatever it is you’ve got going on in this weird little triangle…”

Ray placed his hands on the keyboard.

“Don’t!” Felicity shouted.

He met her eyes with adoration. This woman in front of him was so strong, so beautiful. He began typing slowly with one hand, while the other reached under his desk.

It had all happened so fast. Ray’s wrist flicked back, throwing a small explosive against the glass of the office that detonated upon impact. The glass shattered, propelling both Sherwood and Ray forward into a heap on the floor.

At the same time Oliver let an arrow fly towards Felicity’s captor, but the force of the explosion pushed them, the gun going off on impact, both bodies falling to the floor.

“Felicity!” Oliver shouted, dropping his bow and running toward her. He dropped to the ground, leaning over Felicity, ignoring her captor’s limp body nearby. His hands ran through her hair, lifting her head up to look at him.

She cried out in pain. “Oliver…” She pulled her hand up to her face, bringing it into Oliver’s view as well. Her fingers were covered in blood, and her eyes went wide in fear as tears began rolling down the soft curves of her face.

“Shh, I’m here,” he whispered. “You’re going to be just fine.” He ripped his hood off and tossed his gloves aside. He pushed the hair away from her face and ran his hands down her arms, cataloging each cut and bruise along his way. He noticed a spot on her dress growing darker, as if it were stained with wine. He reached out, trying to find the source of the bleeding.

Her vision started to go dark, her world closing in around her until there was nothing but blackness. Before she gave herself over to sleep she heard Oliver crying out for her, but it all sounded so foggy.

“Felicity, stay with me!”

He was so distracted with Felicity’s frail state that he hadn’t noticed Sherwood scraping his body across the shattered glass, reaching for the gun next to Ray, who was unconscious, until he cackled darkly. When Oliver looked at the mad man across from him, the gun was already raised and aimed.

Before he could react, the gunshot went off, echoing through the silence.


	7. You'll Be Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity was shot, will team Arrow be able to save her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to post! I got way busier than I anticipated!

Oliver’s blood ran cold, the gunshot ringing through his ears. Everything stilled, the room going silent around him. His worst fears were crashing down over him like a tidal wave.

Felicity lay bleeding out, hurt because of her involvement with him and his failure to protect her.

He felt hands pushing him out of the way, a faint echo of a familiar voice pulling him back into reality.

“Oliver!” Diggle came into view suddenly, but he couldn’t fathom when and how he had gotten there. He was tearing at the side of Felicity’s dress, revealing the soft crimson flesh underneath. He was moving quickly to evaluate her wounds, his trauma training taking over.

Oliver looked at his friend, the blood crawling up his tuxedo shirt. He saw the gun by his hip and Sherwood’s lifeless body a few feet away.

Once again, John Diggle had saved his life.

Oliver felt his eyes sting as he watched his friend using his field training to stop the bleeding. “Digg, I tried,” his voice cracked, threatening to break.

Diggle’s hands kept pressure on her abdomen; fresh blood pooled through his fingers. “Oliver, you have to focus. I need you to keep pressure here,” he nodded his head towards the wound. Oliver nodded solemnly and replaced his partner’s hands with his own.

He watched her face, pale in the moonlight that spilled in through the windows. He shut his eyes tight, pulling his focus together. He knew he couldn’t afford to break just then.

Diggle took his jacket off, quickly removing his tuxedo shirt and tossing it to Oliver to apply to the wound.

Roy rushed in, Laurel directly behind him, and both stopped short, caught off guard by the sight of their friend.

They had all known they were risking their lives – they had signed up for it. But it still couldn’t prepare them for what they were witnessing.

“Call 911!” Diggle shouted.

Roy complied quickly, dialing from his cell. “I need an ambulance,” he shouted to the operator. “I’m on the executive floor of Palmer Technologies, there’s been a shooting.”

Diggle worked in silence while they waited. 

Oliver leaned over her, pressing his forehead to hers, stroking her hair. “You’ll be okay,” he reassured himself. “I love you, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” he whispered again and again.

Sirens wailed through the night, getting closer every second.

“Oliver you have to leave,” Diggle’s voice was foggy, not registering in his mind. “Oliver, man, I got it from here, you have to get out before the cops get here.”

He didn’t move, his body like lead.

“Roy! Get him out of here!”

Roy nodded, and wrapped his arm around his mentor, attempting to tear him away. Oliver resisted, elbowing Roy sharply to get him off. “No! I’m not leaving!” He bellowed.

“Man, I know you want to help her. The best thing you can do right now is let her go,” Diggle urged.

Oliver shook his head, tightening his jaw.

“Come on,” Roy tugged again and Oliver turned and stood, slamming him into the wall behind him.

“I said I’m not leaving her!”

Roy put his arms up defensively, looking to John for guidance.

“Ollie, we have to go.” Laurel whispered.

He relaxed his grip on the youngest vigilante when he felt Laurel’s soft touch on his shoulder.

She approached with caution, turning his face so he looked her in the eye. “Felicity will be safer if we leave. The less they know about our involvement, the better for all of us, especially Felicity.”

He nodded then, giving up the fight. They were right. He looked to Diggle when he heard the approaching footfalls of police and medics down the hall.

Diggle nodded, a silent promise to keep their girl safe.

He dragged his feet away from her then, looking back as Laurel and Roy directed him away.

 

Roy sighed. “Dude, if you keep pacing I’m gonna lose it,” he sat, slumped down in the waiting room of Starling Hospital. Thea was tucked into his side falling in and out of consciousness.

Oliver sat across from him, opting to bounce his leg up and down impatiently instead. “It’s been hours.”

Diggle yawned, adjusting slightly but being careful not to disturb Lyla, who had been using his lap to rest her head. “No news is good news, it means they’re still working.”

Laurel walked in quietly. She held a coffee in front of Oliver’s nose. “Here, drink.”

He took it gratefully, nodding his appreciation. 

She sat next to him, sipping her own coffee in silence.

Waiting was always the worst part. There was nothing to be done. Oliver was a doer, a man of action. He slumped back down into his seat leaning his head back and shutting his eyes, feeling helpless.

There was a throat clearing, bringing everyone to alert. Oliver sat up right, ready for news…any news.

Ray Palmer stood sheepishly in the doorway. He nodded, acknowledging their presence. His suit was untidy, his eyes tired and hair ruffled. His wrist bore a hospital wristband, evidence of his injuries.

Oliver glared, but deciding it was best to not say anything he laid his head back, shutting his eyes in an attempt to shut out the world, even if only for a moment.  
“Any word?” Ray asked no one in particular.

Laurel shook her head apologetically. “How are you holding up?”

He took it an invitation to have a seat, but kept a good distance between himself and the rest of the group. “Just superficial wounds mostly, a small concussion, but I’ll be fine…”

Laurel smiled softly. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

Ray dropped his eyes in shame. “This is all my fault,” he whispered under his breath.

Oliver sat up then, seeing his opening to pick the fight he so desperately needed. “Yea, yea it is. Remember that,” he snapped.

“Ollie,” Laurel warned. “It’s nobody’s fault.”

“No! He should know that if it weren’t for him, she’d be fine.” He stood then, making his way out of the room.

Ray followed quickly. “Oliver, I care about her too,” he started.

Oliver rounded on him. “She has a bullet in her stomach because of you!” He roared. The hallway hushed, patients and staff coming to a halt to watch the interaction unfolding before them. “That’s one hell of a way to show how much you care,” he snapped. “Dragging her into your little side project…you put her in danger the moment you asked her to help you with the A.T.O.M.!”

He struck a nerve and Ray met his eyes with fury. “What about you?” He invaded his space, getting up into Oliver’s face. “I know how you’re spending your nights, Oliver Queen.” He hissed and looked him dead in the eye, waiting for a reaction but Oliver gave nothing away. “You’re risking her life every day.”

“I can protect her,” he growled through his teeth.

Ray took another step closer, causing Oliver to take a step back. “Oh? Like you protected her tonight?” He shoved Oliver further away from him.

Oliver charged at him then, his blood boiling. He knocked him down to the ground, pinning him down and decking him across the face.

A nurse shouted for help while someone else called for security, the hallway suddenly erupting with noise.

Oliver continued to hit him, taking out all of his rage. “What the hell?” Laurel rushed out. Ray pushed Oliver back and the two scuffled on the ground. “Knock it off!” She shouted.

Diggle and Roy rushed out, attempting to pull the men apart. Diggle managed to get a good grip on Oliver and yanked him back, pulling him to his feet. “Walk away!”

Ray picked himself up off the ground panting and Roy held his arms out between the two, effectively separating both men.

“Ollie!” Thea shouted in disappointment. “This is not the time or place!”

A security guard appeared in his rent-a-cop uniform. He hiked his pants up, taking stock of the situation. “There a problem here?” He asked.

The group turned to look at him. It was almost comical, the thought of the small framed, bald security guard breaking up a fight between the two muscular men before him.

Oliver shook Diggle off his shoulder. He and Roy exchanged a look of distaste.

“I got it from here, Scotty.”

Scotty rubbed his hand over his round belly. “Captain Lance, what brings you here?”

Quentin Lance appeared in full uniform. “Official business, with this fine group before you, I’m afraid.” He stepped past them and held his arm out, directing the group back into the small waiting room.

They shuffled in, heads down. Oliver and Ray went to opposite sides.

“So, does someone want to tell me what the hell is going on here?”

Laurel stepped forward. “Daddy,” she started.

Lance gave her a harsh look, “Don’t,” he snapped and redirected his attention to Ray. “Now, Mr. Palmer, I understand you and Ms. Smoak were together when she was shot, so let’s start with you.”

Ray swallowed, not sure where to begin.

“I’ve got two dead bodies, and a girl lying in a hospital bed, so someone better speak up!”

“Daddy, it’s complicated,” Laurel said in a hushed tone, her eyes widening as a warning.

Lance nodded. “Let’s start with the events of the evening, you were at a wedding?” He asked the room.

They all nodded.

“And you and Ms. Smoak were abducted?” He turned his direction back to Palmer.

Palmer shook his head. “No sir, I was outside, speaking to your daughter, when I was jumped.”

Lance glanced at Laurel, checking her for signs of injury. He was angry with her for keeping Sara’s death a secret, but was relieved, proud even, that she was okay. Once again he directed his gaze to Palmer. “Where was Ms. Smoak?”

Oliver cleared his throat. “With me.”

“What were you two doing during Mr. Palmer’s attack?”

Oliver looked at Ray for a moment, and for the first time since he walked into the hospital he felt a little bit sorry for him. “We, uh…” he coughed. He looked away sheepishly, but he knew that Ray knew. A guy that smart knew how to read between the lines.

Lance rolled his eyes. “Good to know you’re as classy as ever, Mr. Queen.”

“We were discussing a personal matter,” Oliver squared his shoulders in defense, “when Ms. Smoak got a call. She sounded concerned, babbled something about Ray and needing to get to the office, and she was gone.”

Ray’s jaw tightened and there was a flash of anger and hurt in his eyes, but he nodded. “Thomas Sherwood was holding a gun to my head. He lured Felicity to my office because they needed her to access some files,” he explained. “Everything happened so fast, the gun went off and…”

Lance held his hand up. “I’m going to stop you there. What files?”

Ray shrugged. “Finances, trying to see what projects we had going on, anything that was going to make him a quick buck I suppose.”

“And at what point did the Arrow come in?”

Ray gave Oliver a look, and gave the slightest nod, letting him know that his secret was safe, at least for now. “If it weren’t for him, neither Ms. Smoak or I would be here.”

Lance nodded. “You guys have had a long night, so I’m going to give you a break for now, get some rest, we’ll deal with this later.” With that he left, Laurel chasing his steps out the door.

Palmer slumped into a chair, relieved for a moment.

Oliver took a seat next to Thea, worry etching his eyes.

“Really Ollie? While she was on a date?” Thea questioned quietly.

Oliver sighed. “Thea,” he warned.

“She’s cute, I totally get it. I’m just saying –“

“Shut up,” Oliver said. He looked across from him to find Diggle glaring with a heavy look of disapproval.

The doctor stepped into the room, a petite woman with a strong stance. Her hair was pulled back, a chart in her delicate hand while her other hand was tucked into her lab coat. “You’re here for Felicity Smoak?”

Oliver jumped up, “Yes, how is she?” He asked anxiously.

She nodded and held out her hand. “I’m Doctor Connors, Ms. Smoak’s surgeon.”

Oliver nodded, shaking her hand. “Is she going to be okay?”

Dr. Connors stepped back, addressing the room. “Your friend was extremely lucky. Considering the circumstances, her injuries were fairly minor. She had a GSW to her abdomen, but it was a clean shot. A centimeter in either direction could have very well resulted in something much more serious and life threatening. She lost a lot of blood, so she’s going to be very tired. She’ll be in pain for a few days, but she’s going to be just fine.”

Oliver placed his arms behind his head, sighing in relief. “Oh thank God,” he breathed. He felt as though his heart had started working again, his lungs finally taking in air. “Can I see her?”

“I’m sorry, after hours visiting is restricted to strictly family. Are you the boyfriend?”

Ray stepped forward. “That would be me, Ray Palmer,” he shook the doctor’s hand politely. “Thank you so much for all you did for her.”

Dr. Connors blue grey eyes flashed between both men, the wheels turning trying to figure out the dynamics. “Nice to meet you. Does Ms. Smoak have any relatives?”

Oliver nodded. “Her mom, she’s in Vegas.”

“I’ve already arranged to fly her out, she should be here in the morning,” Ray explained.

The doctor nodded again. “Well, I suggest you all go home and get some rest, she’s going to be just fine. Freshen up and you can visit her first thing in the morning.”

 

There were quiet conversations of relief as the team discussed their visiting arrangements, taking shifts for the next day. Oliver didn’t hear any of it. He just sat, relieved that his girl was going to be okay, but frustrated that he couldn’t see her.

“Oliver,” Diggle placed his hand on his shoulder.

Oliver looked up. “Digg, I can’t thank you enough. You and Lyla…God you should be on your honeymoon right now,” he signed.

Digg smiled. “We are right where we need to be,” he said. “But we’re going to go home, relieve the sitter for a while, get some rest.”

Oliver nodded. 

“She’s gonna be fine, man.”

“Thank you.” He was relieved that whatever lectures John Diggle had regarding his relationship, or lack thereof, with their girl would wait for another day.

The room cleared out, one by one. Thea said her goodbyes to Roy, hanging back to give Oliver a ride.

She stood in front of him, but he didn’t look at her, just continued to stare ahead. “Ollie,” she nudged him. “Let’s go home.”

He shook his head. “I just, I need to be here. I know she’s okay, but I just need to see for myself.”

She nodded in understanding. “Okay,” she stated simply. She took a seat next to him, and they sat, waiting in silence.


	8. You Wear Your Best Apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity wakes up in the hospital to visitors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So I've gone from having all the free time in the world to being insanely busy, so I'm really, truly sorry for the slow updates! I have some time this week to work a lot more, so I'm hoping to finish writing it and I'll publish the final chapters as soon as possible. You guys blew me away with your reviews on the last chapter 3 Thank you!

Nervous was not a quality people used to describe Oliver Queen.

Confident, sure footed...even cocky and arrogant depending on which of his personas was being examined, but never nervous.

Oliver's breath faltered as he walked down the long hallway. He had spent the entire night in the waiting room (Thea leaving early that morning declaring she needed some sleep in an actual bed) and now that visiting hours started he was regretting not going back to the foundry to change. He turned around, wondering if he should go back after all. He took two steps before turning around again, anxious to just see her.

He saw Palmer walking in from the other end of the hall, roses in hand and it occurred to him that he hadn't thought to bring anything. He sighed, turning around again, deciding to head to the gift shop.

He wandered aimlessly through the small shop for a long while, not sure what to get her. Everything in the shop was meaningless. Flowers seemed cliche, and Felicity was anything but cliche. He picked up a small bear, holding it in his hands and rolling his eyes. How was a small bear supposed to encompass all that he wanted to say to her?

He sighed and shoved the bear back into the pile of stuffed toys. He was about to leave when out of the corner of his eyes he saw a small fern. He smiled picking it up. It was perfect, and it somehow said it all: he was sorry, he loved her and needed her…Felicity would love it.

He walked through the hospital, more confidence in his step now that he held the fern in his hands. Still, he couldn't help but feel his chest tighten as he got closer to her room.

He stepped in just as Dr. Connors was leaving to find Donna Smoak at the edge of the bed in a bright yellow dress that was more suited for the party girls at Verdant than it was for mother's visiting their hospitalized daughters. Ray was arranging the flowers he had brought silently by her bedside table.

His chest relaxed the moment he entered the room and spotted his girl, sleeping, but alive. Her face was soft and relaxed. Her chest fluttered up and down slowly, and the steady beeping of the heart monitor relaxed him, physical proof that she was breathing.

"Oliver," Palmer offered in way of greeting when he turned to see the man standing in the doorway.

Donna turned, smiling brightly. "Oliver, it's good to see you again."

"Ms. Smoak," he held out his free hand.

She smiled at his offered hand before waving it away. "Please, don't be silly, call me Donna," she pulled him in, wrapping her arms around him and stealing a squeeze of his bicep before parting, running her other hand over his chest.

"How is she?" He asked quietly, ignoring Donna's uncomfortable flirting.

"Tired," Ray answered. "She was awake earlier, but the medicine is making her groggy."

"And loopy," her mother added. She noticed the fern in Oliver's hand and raised her eyebrows in question. "Would you like me to take that?" She asked as she plastered an unconvincing smile on her face.

Oliver could tell Donna was more impressed by the roses, but he didn't care. Felicity would know what it had meant. He handed it off carefully. "Sure," he responded.

She moved around the men, placing the fern on the bedside table, tucking it behind the roses and out of sight.

They sat for a moment in awkward silence when Felicity stirred.

Just then a breeze blew down the hallway and a moment later, Barry Allen stepped through the door, his jacket and hair wind blown and tousled. He looked at Oliver. "Hey, I came as soon as i heard, how is she?" He asked breathlessly.

Oliver clapped a hand on his shoulder and gave a knowing smile - Barry  _literally_  ran over the second he heard. "Still sleeping."

Donna took an appraising look at the third man. "Are you another...friend?"

Barry jumped, taking in the room, embarrassed that he hadn't paid attention to those around him. "Barry...Barry Allen. Felicity and I met a while back, she's a good friend."

Donna raised her eyebrows and looked back and forth between the three men. "This girl is getting in way more trouble here than she ever did in Vegas," she muttered. "I'll tell you guys what. I'm going to get a coffee, let you gentlemen chat for a bit. If she wakes up, come get me. I'll be right downstairs."

Oliver and Ray nodded as she left.

"It was nice to meet you," Barry called after her as she left. He looked at Oliver and mouthed  _is that really her mom?_ with surprised eyes.

Oliver nodded stiffly, sitting in a chair next to Felicity. He desperately wanted to reach out his hand and touch her, feel her pulse under his fingers.

Barry fidgeted, looking at all the medicines she was hooked up to. "Oh, this should be fun. Felicity Smoak on pain medicine…"

Oliver shot him a look.

Ray chuckled. "She was awake earlier...if you think she babbles now," he trailed off.

Barry smiled. "You're Ray Palmer," he stated.

Ray nodded and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you," he said.

Barry continued to shake his hand. " _The_  Ray Palmer."

Oliver grunted. "Barry," he warned.

Barry looked back at Oliver and apologized, slowly letting go of Palmer's hand and sitting down in another chair at the bottom of Felicity's bed. The silence filled the room. Barry coughed, clearing his throat. "Cisco says hi," he said to make conversation.

Oliver nodded.

"And Caitlin."

He nodded again.

"If there's anything any of us can do, for either of you guys...you know...meals, or...helping...with anything...work related or otherwise," he hinted.

"Thank you, Barry. I appreciate it, I'll let you know if anything comes up."

Felicity stirred again, breathing in deep. Oliver moved, his heart beating quickly. She blinked, pulling the world into focus. Her gaze went to Oliver, then Barry, Ray, and back to Oliver. She giggled lightly. "All of my boyfriends are here," she laughed.

Ray shifted as Barry chuckled.

Oliver ignored it and leaned forward, closer to the bed. "Hey," he whispered. "How are you feeling?" He placed his hand on the bed awkwardly, not sure whether or not to grab her hand.

She shut her eyes and smiled. "This hurts way worse than the last time I got shot…"

"You've been shot more than once?" Ray asked, confused.

"Ahh, she's tougher than she looks," Barry tossed in.

Ray looked at Oliver, who hadn't torn his eyes from Felicity once. "I'll go let Donna know she's awake," he offered, walking out of the room.

Barry looked between the two and decided to give them a moment. "Actually, Ray, I'd love to pick your brain a little bit, mind if I walk with you?"

Ray smiled stiffly. "Sure, I could use the company."

The two strolled down the hall, and for the first time since the elevator Oliver and Felicity were alone. She closed her eyes again, too tired to keep them open for very long. "I swear, I won't go into the field ever again," she mumbled. "I am done with guns, and bombs, and...creepy doll stalkers, and crazy Australian men."

Oliver covered her hand with his, using his thumb to rub back and forth across her knuckles. "Felicity, I'm sorry," he whispered putting his head down on the side of the bed. "I'm so sorry."

She opened her eyes and saw him there and she wished she could hold him, tell him none of it was his fault, kiss him until he forgot everything else. "I've always been a troublemaker," she teased as she used her other arm to reach over and run her fingers through his short hair lazily. "I'm lucky to have you to look after me."

He looked up at her, resting his chin on the bed. He had been so tired, and now that he had seen for himself that Felicity would be okay it was catching up to him. "You wouldn't be in here if it weren't for me."

Felicity sighed and fought her heavy eyelids. "Stop. Just be here. No vigilanteeness...vigilantism? Is that a word? No Arrow, broody Oliver talk. I'm just glad you're here."

He tightened his grip on her hand. "I don't deserve you," the knot in his chest was back, pairing with a burning in his eyes, threatening to break him at any moment.

"Well, I am pretty remarkable," she smiled again.

He chuckled softly. "Yes, you are," he held her hand until she fell asleep and only let go when Ray, Barry and Donna walked back into the room.

* * *

The next time she came to a nurse had woken her up. She checked her vitals, and gave her some more pain medication. They had her sit up a little higher in bed, and made sure she ordered lunch.

She was more energized, still not 100% but she was awake and talking.

Talking quite a lot, in fact. Twenty minutes after the nurse had administered pain medication it seemed she couldn't stop talking. And giggling. Her mom had just left for a coffee (to which Felicity remarked that she had probably found a man somewhere in the hospital halls she was meeting up with) and Barry had been sitting with her discussing tech, catching up on life in Central City, and laughing at inside jokes. Oliver hadn't left her bedside once, though he had relaxed enough to fall asleep in the uncomfortable chairs, feet propped up on the edge of the bed. Ray had been in and out, taking time to make the calls he needed to make regarding Palmer Tech, but never straying too far.

"I should probably get back," Barry said when the laughing had died down a bit. He turned to stand when Felicity gripped his arm, pulling him to sit back down.

Her eyes were wide and she shook her head frantically. "No, don't leave me here."

Barry's brows furrowed and he let out a burst of laughter. "What? Felicity," he started.

"No, no, no. If you leave, I'll say things. A lot of things." She grabbed his hand, gripping it tightly. "My mother has been grilling me about both of these guys, and you, and I'm bound to blurt something out," she hissed, careful not to wake Oliver. "Like that Oliver is the Arrow, or you're the Flash, or Ray is trying to be the Atom...or what if I blurt out that I've kissed all three of you? Like since when is kissing heroes and vigilantes my thing? I used to like boys who play guitar, that was so much easier. Boys who save the world are so much more complicated."

Barry laughed. "Why on  _earth_  would us kissing come up with  _anybody_  here?" A throat clearing caused his laugh to be cut off short, and as he coughed he turned slowly to see Oliver wide awake and staring intently at him, awaiting an explanation. "We -" he motioned between himself and Felicity "never...you know. I mean, it wasn't really that great of a kiss…"

"Hey!" Felicity cut in.

Barry pushed his chair back further so he wasn't sitting so close to Felicity, pulling his hand out of Felicity's grip that hadn't loosened. Oliver continued to glare. In fact, Barry was reminded of the last time Oliver looked at him like that, when he had ended up with an arrow in his back. "It was more of a goodbye kiss than anything else...and that was it. Nothing else, just that one time, like way, way long ago. I wouldn't even worry about it. It was like kissing my sister."

Oliver continued his stare in silence.

"I really have to get back to Central City. Cisco has been texting and calling all morning, so...yea...bye Felicity! Umm...see you around, Oliver," a breeze filled the room as a red streak flashed past them and Barry was gone.

"When were you kissing Barry Allen?" Oliver asked, turning his attention to the frazzled blonde, with jealous curiosity.

Felicity pushed the pain meds button several times. She knew it would only administer so much at once, and she wasn't allowed another dosage for at least another hour or so, but she still pushed it hoping that maybe it would work and she could just pass out until she was released from the hospital. She threw it down on the bed in frustration. "Why do they give you this stupid button if you can't even use it when you want it?"

"Recently?"

She exhaled. "It was one time. And it wasn't that great. I mean, on my end it was, I'm a great kisser."

"Am I interrupting?" Ray stepped through the doorway, two coffees in hand.

"Kill me. Just kill me now," she mumbled, pulling a pillow over her face.

Ray handed Oliver the second coffee. "Thought you could use this, you look beat."

"Thanks." He stood. "I think I'm going to go take a walk, give you two some time to catch up." He placed his hand on Felicity's shoulder. "I'll be back. I have my cell if you need me," he gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze and headed out, deciding to use the time to call Diggle to fill him and the team in.

* * *

In the eight days she was in the hospital, Ray had been in and out, needing to head back to work, but not wanting to stay away for too long. He and Donna seemed to hit it off, and she was clearly taken with him.

Barry hadn't been back but he called a few times; he and the rest of the gang in Central City had sent flowers, even Dr. Wells had signed the card.

Diggle had stopped by on the first day, but she had managed to convince him to not let her spoil his and Lyla's honeymoon. "It only happens once!" She had shouted to which Diggle had replied "Technically this will be our second..."

Laurel stopped by and brought essentials: mascara, nail polish and gossip magazines. Roy tagged along, sometimes with Thea, and they'd all joke around while Laurel applied another coat of the mint green polish Felicity had favored recently.

Donna Smoak came and went, but Felicity preferred the latter. Her mother fussed over her and made it impossible for her to relax, which had been exactly what the doctor said she needed. Her mom always had a way of putting her on edge, and she always thought they got along better when there was distance. Watching her make obvious advancements on Ray was disturbing, but at least it got her off of Felicity's back.

Then there was Oliver, who hadn't left except to shower and change, and even that had been a battle.

"I'll be fine," she argued. "Please, you're actually freaking everyone out. You need to go home and shower, eat a real meal and sleep."

"I'm not hungry and I've been sleeping just fine," he argued back.

She threw her head back in exhaustion. "Squeezing a giant body into that tiny hospital chair is not sleeping. And you stink. Go home, Oliver. I don't need a babysitter."

After working out shifts with Laurel, he finally left, but he was never gone for long, always returning with his hands in his pocket and his eyes filled with guilt.

Until the morning she was released from the hospital. Oliver was nowhere to be found, but Felicity was just grateful to be heading home, so she didn't focus on it too much. She missed her bed, and her wardrobe, she thought as she pulled off the hospital gown and changed into a pair of sweats and an MIT sweatshirt that was far too worn, but her favorite.

Her mom pushed through the bathroom door, not for the first time. "Felicity, I can't believe you're walking out of here in that!"

"Mom! I was shot, I'm pretty sure I can wear sweatpants without being judged."

Donna rolled her eyes. "What if you run into a handsome man on the way out? He'll never know what he's missing out on if you go around dressing like a hobo!"

Felicity packed up her toiletry bag with annoyance. "I do not need to meet a man right now," she sighed. She pushed past her mother, who turned to follow in the same step, and made her way back into the room.

"I'll say." Donna hopped up on the bed, crossing her long legs in front of her. "You are on man overload. I'm actually proud…"

Felicity huffed, ignoring her comments and continued to pack the few items she had. "Oh my God, Mom…"

"What?" She shrugged. "I'm just saying...I was beginning to think you were celibate. So which one is your boyfriend? Is it Ray? He's so gorgeous. Are you sleeping with him? How is he?"

Felicity's eyes went wide. "Mother!" Her face flushed, and just as she was about to use her loud voice, Ray walked into the room.

"Speak of the devil," her mom said, giving Ray a flirtatious once over.

He shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. "Hi," he said. He approached Felicity and gave her a kiss on the cheek, his arm resting on the small of her back.

Felicity felt her cheeks warm, she was sure she was more embarrassed than she had ever been in her life, which was really saying something lately. "What are you doing here?" She asked. "I thought you had to work…"

Ray shrugged. "I just wanted to make sure you got home okay and had everything you needed." He smiled and picked up her small tote bag, and the roses from her nightstand. It wasn't until he moved them that she saw the small fern with a note.

She moved to pick it up and smiled softly at the fern in her arms.

"Let's get out of here," Donna said. "Hospitals are such a buzz kill."

Ray laughed and grabbed Felicity's hand, leading her down the hall with her mother in tow.

* * *

Felicity wasn't home for very long before Donna stepped out, insisting she give Felicity and Ray some "alone time", but really Felicity knew she was meeting one of the male nurses she had hit it off with.

"Have fun, kids! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" She grinned as she stepped out of the townhouse. "Don't wait up for me!" She shouted.

Felicity rolled her eyes, and dropped down on the couch. "Only my mother would be more exhausting than getting shot."

Ray laughed. He stepped into her kitchen, and made some coffee. "I'd say let's crack open a bottle of wine, but you've got a week left on your meds, so I'm afraid it's coffee for you…"

"Ugh," she moaned as she threw her head into the pillow. "I miss my wine," she mumbled through the fabric.

Ray chuckled as he stepped back into the room, two coffees in hand, and placed hers on the table in front of the couch. He laughed and sat on the coffee table across from her, pulling her up gently so she was facing him. "I'm so glad you're okay," he whispered as the smile drew away from his face. He brushed a few strands of hair behind her ear tenderly. "Felicity," he leaned forward.

She froze.

"I love you."

"Oh," she pulled back in surprise. "That, that is very nice to hear. Thank you," she stood up and walked into the kitchen. "You know what I miss? Food. Hospital food just won't cut it. I could really go for some sushi. Or Thai. Are you hungry? I know! Burgers! Let's get burgers!"

Ray didn't move, just stared where she had sat on the couch.

Felicity walked back in and felt awful at the hurt she could clearly see on his face.

"No food then," she whispered.

"It's okay," he stared intently at his coffee, thumb rubbing across the rim of the mug. "I know."

"Ray…"

"You're in love with him."

Her face burned at the admission. "I feel like 'I'm sorry' is never going to be enough."

"I'm a pretty smart guy, I figured it out long before we started dating. I guess I just thought...I don't know. Maybe if you went out with me you could learn to love me the way you love him. What I'm realizing is that no matter how obviously complicated things are between you guys, even though you aren't together, you're always finding your way back to each other."

Tears burned her eyes. "Ray, I'm so sorry. I don't deserve you."

"I wanted a partner. A partner in work, my mission, in life...I thought I found that in you. And I really don't want to be angry with you, but I can't…I can't do this when you look at him the way that you do. You deserve better than him, Felicity, I really believe that. But I can't play second fiddle."

She nodded, swallowing her tears.

He stood and placed his coffee cup down. He walked over and kissed her on the forehead. "Goodbye, Felicity." He gave her hand one last squeeze and walked out the door, taking the possibilities of a normal life with him.

She moved into her room, leaving the coffee forgotten, taking the fern with her. She placed it tenderly on her nightstand table where it would be in view and pulled the note from it. She opened it to reveal two words in Oliver's scribbled handwriting.

**_I'm sorry..._ **

Felicity sighed and flopped onto her bed. She fell asleep on top of the covers, clutching the note to her chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy! I promise that I have some free time this week, so I'll post sooner and get those Olicity feels and ;) scenes in!


	9. This Love Isn't Good Unless

Felicity woke the next morning to the sounds of her mother's laughter.

Not real laughter, no this was much more familiar than that. This was the fake laugh she used when she was trying to impress men. Felicity groaned and threw her pillow over her head, pulling it tightly around her ears. The obnoxious noise only grew, cutting through the thick pillow.

She threw the pillow to the bottom of the bed, sitting up and looking at her clock. It was only a little past eight in the morning, and while most days that was sleeping in for her, she thought it was far too early for her mother to be entertaining guests.

Her mouth pulled into a frown and her brows furrowed in disgust as she realized her mother had probably started the entertainment the previous evening. "Ew, ew, ew…" she muttered as she got out of bed. She had had enough, and she was going to put a stop to this.

She opened her bedroom door and stormed down the hall, ignoring her appearance and what she was sure was some pretty intense bedhead, and walked straight into her mother. "What are you doing?" She hissed.

Donna stopped short, barely managing to keep the tray in her hands in one piece, it's contents rattled. "Bringing you some breakfast," she snapped. "Go put some clothes on, and for God's sake do something with your hair!"

Felicity rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you. I was shot, mother, shot. As in a gun. And I'm trying to recover and you're just bringing men in and out? Of my home?"

Donna pushed past Felicity into her room, her daughter hot on her feet. "For your information, Daniel and I had a lovely time last night, thank you for asking, but he did not come home with me." She placed the tray of burnt scrambled eggs (a childhood staple for Felicity) on the edge of the disheveled bed, then turned to face her daughter, a look of hurt flashing across her face.

Felicity rolled her eyes, she was familiar with her mother's antics. She spent years eating burnt eggs in her room while her mother casually kicked one night stands out in the morning, careful that Felicity never saw them, even though she heard them. Deep voices promising to call, thanking her mother for a "fun night", often asking when they'd see her again.

"Mom," she started. "I heard you talking to him." She threw on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, ignoring her mother's judgements and protests.

Her mother placed her hands on her hips defiantly. "For your information, you are the one that needs to install a revolving door. There's been nothing but men since I've gotten here. Guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, after all."

Felicity opened her mouth to protest when she heard her kitchen cabinets opening and closing. "You are unbelievable!" She stormed out of her room.

"Felicity!" Her mother hissed. "Get back here!"

Felicity ignored the warning in her voice and continued her angry march to the kitchen. "Listen buddy, I don't know what my mom told you but you need to go," she turned the corner and gasped, pulling the hood over her head to try to hide the mess on her head she was so suddenly aware of.

Oliver stood, coffee cup in hand, eyebrows raised in confusion. He placed it down on the counter gently, and nodded. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd check on you, your mother invited me in," he offered as an explanation. "I'll go, let you rest…" He began walking when she cut him off.

"No, stay.. I thought you were sleeping with my mom." She blurted out quickly before she could stop herself. "Oh my god, like not you were sleeping with my mom. Ew, gross. But like you know...you were someone that was sleeping with my mom. You know what? Nevermind. You stay here. In my kitchen. I'm going to...go...change and you know…" She waved her hands frantically around her head, feeling the need to become more presentable.

She turned around to find Donna leaning against the doorway, amused. "Revolving door, my dear."

"Shhh," she shot her a look and walked in what she had hoped was a casual way back toward her room. She waited until she was out of sight before her footsteps hurried.

She tossed clothes around, trying to find something to wear. Donna stepped into the room quietly. She pulled a dark skirt out of Felicity's closet, holding it up to examine. "Wear this."

Felicity pulled the skirt from her mother's hands and shoved it back in the closet. "That'll make it look like I'm trying too hard." She stopped sorting through clothes and sighed. "I'm sorry," she started. "I was out of line."

Donna sat on the edge of her daughter's bed and shrugged. "I wasn't exactly the model parent, but you turned out alright," she smiled softly.

Felicity tilted her head. "Thank you."

Donna stood and kissed her forehead. "Just be yourself. The man is obviously in love with you," she looked her up and down taking in her appearance. "Even when you do look like something the cat dragged in."

"Har, har."

She chuckled at her daughter. "Get a shower, get dressed, take a moment to breathe. He's not going anywhere." She stepped out of the room, closing the door to give Felicity some privacy.

When Felicity emerged from her bedroom, showered and dressed in skinny jeans and an MIT tee shirt, something she thought was presentable but didn't look like she was trying too hard, she found Oliver sitting on her couch. She stood for a moment, taking the sight before her in. Oliver filled the small living room with his presence and large frame, and she smiled at the thought of it becoming a permanent sight when she stepped out of her bedroom in the mornings. She cleared her throat to alert him of her presence, but she knew he was aware. Oliver Queen was always aware of his surroundings.

He turned around to face her, using the back of the couch as leverage when standing. "Hey," he greeted.

She waved awkwardly. "Hi." She looked around the room, searching.

He followed her gaze and pointed over his shoulder towards the door. "Your mom said something about a date...she didn't think she'd be back anytime soon."

"My mother, serial dater," she sighed shaking her head.

Oliver chuckled. "She seems like she's having fun," he responded.

"I'm sure she is," Felicity replied.

They stood for a moment in awkward silence. "How are you feeling?" Oliver asked.

She placed her hand on her side gingerly. "Not too bad. Basically like normal. I mean, I have to take it easy for a little while, but I'm not in any pain, really."

His eyes saddened and the guilt she could so obviously see on his face weighed him down. "I'm sor-"

"Don't," she cut him off. "It happened. It's over. I'm fine."

His jaw tightened and he nodded, looking away from her.

"I'm fine."

He didn't respond, or lift his eyes to look at her.

She closed the distance between them and pulled his hand up to her chest, placing it over her heartbeat. "I'm fine," she assured him.

He shut his eyes tight, trying to shove everything he had been feeling for the past few weeks aside. Felicity brought her free hand up to his cheek, running the tips of her fingers through his rough stubble. He turned his face into her, pressing his lips against her pulse, his breath hot on her skin. "I thought I'd lost you," he whispered softly.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, his hands coming to rest on her hips. He pressed his forehead against hers and she stood on her tiptoes, her lips just a breath away from his. "Oliver," she breathed.

He pulled back, reaching behind him and taking her hands from his neck, placing them down in front of her, but not letting go. His thumb rubbed over her knuckles and swallowed the lump in his throat, his voice threatening to break. "I should go."

Felicity stood, stunned. There he was, Oliver Queen, walking out once again. Always leaving. His back was to her, his hand on the doorknob when she found her voice. "I broke up with Ray."

He stood, unmoving.

"I thought maybe I could have this life with him, you know? A normal life with a marriage, and kids, we'd have a dog and go to cookouts and parties where we'd tell people the adorable story of how we met and they'd all compliment us on how adorable our children are and how I'm a lucky girl, living the dream. But it's not my dream. You see, because in every single glimpse of my future with him, there was always regret. Regret because I would always, always wonder what happened to the man who changed my life forever and whether or not he'd let me make him happy. So don't go, Oliver. Don't go because I love you. I love that you carry the world on your shoulders, but you deserve to be happy, Oliver. You have changed me, in ways I didn't even know I could be changed until you walked into my life. You are a hero, my hero, and I love you, Oliver Queen. I. Love. You."

Oliver turned on his feet, his eyes staring intently. He sauntered over to her, slowly, deliberately, gaze never wavering as if he were searching for something, amazed that this remarkable woman before him had said the words he had been longing to hear for ages, but had given up hope on ever hearing because he knew he didn't deserve them.

When he closed the distance between them he took her glasses off tenderly, placing them gently on the coffee table next to them before caressing her face gently. Felicity blushed, a small smile crossing her lips before his descended upon hers. He kissed her gently until she pulled back, pulling her shirt over her head revealing the black bra underneath.

Oliver never stopped watching her, his eyes filled with awe and wonderment. He moved his body into hers, following her as she stepped backwards down the hall.

When he moved to kiss her again, the tenderness was still present, but there was a hunger this time, an eagerness. Felicity moaned into his mouth and he pressed into her. She pulled him with her backwards towards her bedroom, bumping into the doorframe of the bathroom on her way. She hissed at the sharp pain, and he pulled back quickly, examining her and running his hands over her face. "I'm sorry," he started, the guilt replacing the desire that had been in his eyes. She shook her head, reaching up to find his lips again but he pulled away, placing the hands that were wrapped behind his head in front of her. "We can't," he whispered apologetically.

"I'm fine," she reassured him. "Like I said, a little sore, but I'm okay."

Oliver shook his head, slamming his eyes shut. "No, you'll end up hurt."

"Oliver, the doctor said -"

Oliver met her eyes with a hard stare, and suddenly it dawned on her.

"You don't mean just now," she said quietly, hating how rejected and hurt she sounded. "You mean this, us."

He released his grip on her hands. "Felicity, I -" He swallowed, trying to push the words past the lump in his throat. "I want you. More than anything."

"So take me," she offered. "I'm yours."

He groaned in frustration and leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers so his lips were just a breath away. "I can't love you how you should be loved," his voice was strained. "I can't keep you close and keep you safe."

"Then leave, Oliver. It's that simple," she was frustrated and hurt, and for a brief moment she felt a pit in her stomach at the thought that he'd actually walk out the door.

"I can't," he slid his hands down her arms, over her hips and pulled her in tight so she could feel him against her. "I know it's wrong, and that you deserve more than I could ever give you, but I can't walk away. You have no idea how much I want you, how much I need you," he stroked his hands up and down her sides as is fighting for control. "How much I love you," he paused to let his words sink in before continuing. "I've been fighting this for so long, but I don't want to fight anymore."

She pressed into him harder, moving her hands back up around his neck. "Then don't fight this anymore. I want you. I love you, Oliver, and if you walk away now, I'm done. I can't keep doing this back and forth, so you're either all in or all out."

She stepped back away from him and watched as he struggled, debating internally which path he would take. He took a heavy step backwards and she felt her heart plummet. One footstep and she felt like the wind was knocked out of her and her world was about to collapse around her. She braced herself for the goodbye, telling herself she wouldn't break until he was gone.

"I don't know how to be without you, anymore." He stated simply. "This will be the most selfish thing I've ever done, and if you're smart, you'll tell me to leave and you'll tell me now."

She said nothing, only met his pleading eyes with her own sure and steady gaze.

"Felicity," his voice was full or warning, but she only held her ground.

"I love you, Oliver. I want you, this...us. So I'm not walking away. I know the risks, but I've made my decision, so make yours."


	10. It's Me and You

"I don't know how to be without you, anymore." He stated simply. "This will be the most selfish thing I've ever done, and if you're smart, you'll tell me to leave and you'll tell me now."

She said nothing, only met his pleading eyes with her own sure and steady gaze.

"Felicity," his voice was full or warning, but she only held her ground.

"I love you, Oliver. I want you, this...us. So I'm not walking away. I know the risks, but I've made my decision, so make yours."

Oliver didn't waste any time closing the distance between them in an instant. Her words hit him and it was as if a flood gate had opened.

He kissed her hungrily, moving his hands down her sides and behind her thighs before hitching her up into his arms so she could wrap her legs around his waist. He led them the rest of the way to her room, laying her down gently onto her bed, careful not to put his weight on top of her.

Felicity tugged on his shirt, sliding her hands underneath and allowing the warmth of his skin spread through her fingertips. He groaned into her mouth and she grinned, unable to contain her joy. He pulled back to smile at her and nuzzled his nose into her neck, breathing her in before working his lips over her pulse as his hands moved over her hips.

He pressed into her and she moaned, needing him closer. He pressed into her again as he worked her neck. He pulled away and knelt between her legs, undoing her jeans and sliding them down her legs. She looked up at him with pure adoration on her face. Oliver swallowed, feeling overwhelmed with how much she loved him, something he surely didn't deserve. His eyes roamed her body, landing on the puckered scar on her abdomen. His fingers traced the outline and his stomach knotted with guilt. He was so selfish, but he didn't care. He wanted this, wanted her.

She sat up and placed her hands on his face, drawing him in. "Hey," she whispered gently. "Where'd you go?"

He smiled softly. "Nowhere," he replied. He kissed her forehead gently. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here, always right here. All in."

She pulled him into a passionate kiss, but where there had once been stolen moments and goodbyes there was only hope of a future that neither had thought possible. She pulled herself up so she was kneeling, pushing him back so she could straddle him. Her hips moved on their own accord, begging for the friction she so desperately craved.

"Felicity," he groaned.

She moved her hands frantically to undo his belt buckle, needing to feel him. He palmed her breasts before trailing his hands down her back, cupping her ass.

Felicity had loosened his belt and made quick work of his zipper, allowing herself enough room to slip her hand between them, feeling his hard length against the palm of her hand. He threw his head back at her touch, letting her take over.

She pulled her hand back making Oliver groan at the loss, reaching behind herself and unhooking her bra in a swift movement. His hips jumped up at the sight of her and she stood, quickly tugging Oliver's jeans down, boxer briefs right behind them.

When she tossed the clothes aside Oliver grabbed her by her wrist, pulling her into him roughly. She gasped at the contact, pushing her hips into his desperate for the friction. He grabbed a fistful of her hair, feeling the soft silk between his calloused fingers before tugging it gently so she tilt her head back, giving him access to her neck. He kissed from her jaw down to her collarbone. "God, you have no idea what you do to me," his breath was hot on her neck and she moaned when he moved his free hand between them, placing him at her entrance.

She rolled her hips forward begging for more. He let her golden curls fall and placed his hands on either side of her hips, stilling her movements.

She whimpered slightly and gave a breathy plea. "Please, Oliver."

He tilted her chin down so she looked at him. "What do you want?" Even though she had said it earlier, he needed to hear it. He needed to know in the moment this was what she wanted, what she needed. She tried to grind her hips down further, but his other hand kept her still. "Tell me what you want."

"You, I want you."

He thrust into her and she cried out, the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. He burned it into his memory as he stilled, waiting for her to adjust to him. For a brief moment he wondered if he would ever be able to forgive himself for taking her, but he brushed it aside, choosing to indulge himself instead, knowing he would never be able to forgive himself any more for walking away. He used his hands to guide her, lifting her hips and pulling her back down so he was deeper and deeper. She said his name, over and over like a prayer and he thrust up, meeting her hips so her moans filled the space in the room. "Mine," he breathed into her mouth as his lips descended upon hers again. He worked his lips over hers until she pulled back, gasping for air, begging for release and yet for it to never end. "Say you're mine."

She cried out again, so close. "I'm yours. I've always been yours," she gasped.

He pushed into her harder, his pace quickening. His hands roamed her back, holding onto her tight as her nails dug into him. Her breaths came in short pants, and when he whispered "Come for me," it was all she needed to fall over the edge. She came apart around him, and it was the most gorgeous sight he had ever seen. He wondered in what world a man like him was allowed to touch such beauty, because he shouldn't be able to. As she cried out his name he followed her, digging his hands into her hips.

They sat like that for a bit, neither wanting to break the contact, just catching their breaths. He kissed her temple, rubbing his hands up and down her naked back in a soothing pattern. "I love you," he whispered freely.

Felicity smiled into his skin and let him lift her off, laying her into bed. He laid down next to her, tracing the same patterns up and down her arm. She felt herself drifting off, so she snuggled into his chest as he pulled the sheets up around her. Before she let sleep take her she mumbled "Love you back," into his chest.


End file.
